No Such Thing
by toastycakes
Summary: There is lust. There is heartbreak. But there is no love. This is what Sasuke believes, even as he grapples with his own heartbreak. As a writer, he lives and drinks alone. And then came a friendly neighborhood knucklehead. AU SasuNaru
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: **Hello everyone! It's good to be back! I'm trying something out here, so let me know if you like this and would like me to continue it or move on to a different story idea because I have others. At the moment I have two complete chapters for this so if you want the next one let me know. As for the story itself, I'm going to try to focus on the growing relationship of our two favorite boys for the most part. The entire thing will most likely be told from Sasuke's POV, but I can add chapters with Naruto's POV if you would like. I tried to keep Sasuke as in character as possible, and I'm sorry he's the uke in the first part, which I must warn is explicit, but honestly though he's more of a seme, I can see him in both positions. Anywhosels, here is my second multi-chapter Naruto story. I hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** never have, never will and never hope to. Honestly, you think I could continue that without ruining everything? Though there would be more yaoi if I did...

**Warnings:** Sex between men (as in the very first part is sex, but not just random smut I'll have you know), yaoi, boys kissing, loving and otherwise touching boys, swearing, and possible OOCness. Oh, and Sasuke as uke at first. But he's not a stupid naive, adorable uke, so it's all good! It just happened to work out this way when I started writing... .'

* * *

**Chapter 1**

_They say it isn't love._

"Nngh! Aah…aaaah." He bites on my nipple before licking it and giving it a chaste kiss. I arch up into it, wanting to feel more. More contact, more pain, more pleasure. Just more. He pulls away with a ghost of a grin on his face as his hands keep roaming my skin, leaving trails on ice behind. I can't see his expression because I don't look; but I know it's there. I just don't want to see it.

One hand travels south, so close, so close—I can feel it just ghosting by my erection—as it bypasses my need to massage and stroke my inner thigh. I'm wriggling and writhing underneath him, I know. I'm moaning and letting out gasps, because even with just these feather light touches or harsh bites, it _feels so good!_ I close my eyes that are rolling back into my head as he touches his lips against the head of my cock, and I'm so sensitive now that just that small touch makes my need go into overdrive. I hear him chuckle at me, like this is the most amusing thing he's ever seen, but he doesn't full out laugh.

_I guess I should believe them._

It feels like forever until he finally does _something_. At first he just licks it, but then he takes the whole thing in his mouth and I'm mewling and moaning even more than before, and I just can't help it. My eyes are still closed, and I can hear him sucking me off. It sounds like someone messily eating soup, slurping and smacking their lips. It isn't appealing, but it doesn't take away any from the white hot pleasure I'm getting from having his mouth around me. I can feel his head bobbing up and down, his hand stroking me a little while the other is at my hip, caressing. And then the hand moves down, past my balls and to my entrance, and I'm just panting with anticipation for that pang of pain and pleasure that this kind of invasion gives. The kind that comes from allowing another to dominate and control and invade you in such an intimate way.

And now, I hate to think that this is really intimate, but it is. And there's no other way to feel this sensation.

_It's never felt right anyway._

"Aah! Yes!" I moan out, moving to grab at his hair instead of the sheets around us. He has two fingers in me right from the start, but it doesn't hurt as much as it should. We've done it enough that it doesn't take very long to prepare. Even before him, it never took long to prepare because I was never out of practice. But I've been with him the longest, so it's only fair that he's the only one that prepares me now.

He shifts his angle and adds a third finger. I jerk and cry out in response as he hits my prostate, the heat in my stomach coiling ever tighter. It only takes a few more thrusts of his fingers before I cum into his mouth with a loud moan. He laps it up, taking his fingers out of me, and then crawls back up, one hand trailing over my stomach and chest, up to my neck where he rubs his thumb along my jaw line, all the while leaving more trails of his ice cold touch to burn into my skin.

_But still…_

I open my eyes and look up into that amused and lustful smirk. I'm panting, but I manage to smile back up at him, knowing my face is flushed with pleasure and my eyes are still glazed from post-orgasmic bliss. My hands are still tangled in his hair, so I pull him down into a kiss, tasting myself on his tongue.

He pulls back, his breathing uneven as well, and his smirk still in place. One of his arms moves near my head to support him as his other hand traces up and down my side, then back down to my reawakening erection. He leans his head down and I shiver as I feel his breath against the shell of my ear.

_Still…_

"You came so quickly. Did you miss me that much?" he whispers as he nibbles on my ear and then dips his tongue into it. His voice is deep and smooth. I rarely get to hear it, even in bed when even I call out more than usual.

"A-ah! O-of course not," I say as evenly as I can, unable to really concentrate on answering. My ears are my weakness. He knows this and uses it to his advantage. "We just…mmh, haven't done it in a while."

He chuckles lowly in that same amused tone and I shiver again.

"So you get this sensitive if I leave you alone for a week? Maybe I should go away more often," he says and then kisses his way from my ear, across my cheek and back to my lips. I moan as he starts grinding his hips against mine, telling me just how ready he is.

I still manage to glare despite the amount of pleasure that's crashing into me with the delicious friction he's putting between us.

"And leave me deprived? Hell no."

He stops and I almost whine at the loss of friction. Our noses touch and he looks me straight in the eyes. I want to look away, but it's only my pride that keeps me from it. Because this is all an act.

_I don't want to give up this warmth just yet._

"Then I'll just have to supply you until I return," he says seriously before pushing into me with one thrust. I'm arching off the bed again with the sensation of being filled enveloping me. He doesn't give me any respite; he just keeps thrusting into me as if it's a desperate motion.

_Even if I know it isn't love._

I keep moaning and moving with him in that same desperately quick rhythm, rolling and bucking my hips to meet him. There's nothing slow and loving about it. There's just need and want and pleasure and pain, and still all I want is _more_. I want more, more, _more_, because I know it will never be enough.

"Ha…ah! Harder! Aaahnn…!"

He does as I tell him, moving quicker and harder and deeper than before. I want him to kiss me, but I know that he won't. I want to kiss him, but I know he won't let me. Not anymore. So I just keep moving with him and moaning, my arms around his neck and pulling him closer. He lets me pull his head down to my shoulder, and it's like a weird, moving hug, an embrace. I don't want to let go. But then he's pulling my arms from his neck, pinning them beside my head. His lips travel from my collar bone and across my chest. They kiss and nip and lick at my nipples again until they're hard and wet with his saliva, and I'm nearly at the edge, beside myself with pleasure.

I feel the coil of heat in the pit of my stomach wound nearly to its breaking point, and it only takes one more thrust before I'm cumming over my stomach, hard. My muscles clench and he cums too, splashing my insides as he rides out the orgasm.

He stops moving, staying inside me, and he drops his head onto my chest. He kisses it a few more times and I just want to tell him to stop, but the words get caught in my throat. I take a shuddering breath as he works his way back up along my neck, but never touching my face. We're still connected, so he keeps giving me these sweet touches. I don't want them. I don't want them anymore if he can even do them without any feeling behind them.

I take another breath, my heart rate slow once again.

"Hey…"

He stops. My tone is soft but cold and hard as ice. I've ruined the moment. We both know it. I don't care. I just don't care anymore.

"Yeah?"

He's frozen in place, his lips brushing against the skin of my neck as he says it. His voice is neutral. Cautiously so.

I gather the words on the tip of my tongue and push them out before they're swallowed yet again.

"This is the last time, isn't it?" I ask, my voice the same tone as before. It isn't accusing. It's just cold. Indifferent. How I wish I could be.

I can feel him tense, but he doesn't say anything. Instead he just buries his face in my neck and holds me close. I wrap my arms around him and hold him close too. No tears fall. I've disconnected my emotions. They just make everything harder. Instead I just listen to the heavy silence and take in the last of this warmth and his achingly tender touch. He never says anything after that, while we hold each other, but his silence is all the answer I need.

_Even if I know this is the last time…I just want to feel this for a little longer…_

_

* * *

_

I wake to the sounds of loud footsteps and voices moving along outside. Growling low at the disturbance, I lift myself from bed. Normally, I'm a morning person, but not when I only fell asleep two hours ago. Lack of sleep added to that dream (memory, my mind shouts at me; nightmare, I shoot back at my mind) I just had are enough to make me irritable. It's the beginning of a bad day, and I can only pray that it will get better.

I glance at the clock on my way to the kitchen area. It's almost seven in the morning. I know I could just go back and hide under the covers for a few more hours, but I know I won't actually sleep. I don't want to dream of that again. I'm afraid to, even if I would never admit it out loud, and so I decide that finding a distraction in my work would be best for now.

I should be over it by now, but it's achingly clear that I'm not. Three months ago. Only three months ago I lived in a different apartment and had a lover. He was quiet and a bit anti-social like me, but we got along well enough. His name was Gaara Subaku. We met in the writing club at college, and somehow from there we got to being lovers. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that he cheated on me for a whole month before he finally left. We never said we were exclusive or anything. I just thought it went without saying that we were after a while, and that's how it was…for a while. It didn't take much to figure out he was seeing someone else. I'd done it enough times to other to know the signs.

The only thing that haunts me is the way he held me that one last time before he left without a word.

I move to the kettle on my stove and light the flame beneath it so the water will boil. I hear loud knocking sounds and a worried voice shouting, but I can't hear what it's saying. I don't really care. I just want them to be quiet soon so I'll be able to work later. I need to get my mind off that dream as soon as possible.

The kettle lets out a high keening, letting me know the water's boiling. I turn the flame off, pour some of the steaming water into a mug, and place the kettle back on the stove. I get a tea packet and put it in the cup just as the phone starts to ring as luck would have it. With an irritated sigh, I leave my cup on the counter and move to the phone in the living room.

"Yes?" I ask into the receiver as the voice outside yells again, sounding like a muffled 'be careful.' I figure somebody in one of the other apartments is moving furniture. Or maybe someone is finally moving into the apartment next door. It's been vacant for a while, so I guess it's about time the landlord found someone to occupy it.

"_So you're up! Good! Just wanted to make sure, Uchiha,"_ a cheery voice rings in my ear loudly. I contemplate hanging up the phone right then and there, but decide against it. She may actually have something important to say today.

Ino Yamanaka. She's my editor. We met in the same place I met Gaara, but we didn't get to know each other until she was assigned to be my editor. She was annoying back in college. She's still annoying now, but she isn't as clingy as she used to be.

"Any reason you're calling me this early in the morning?"

"_I just want to check on the progress of the manuscript. I know you don't fall behind on deadlines like most authors, but checking in once in a while doesn't hurt."_

"It would be going better if you didn't call me everyday." My tone is flat, but I know she can hear the sarcasm in it. I actually enjoy it when she calls sometimes. 'Sometimes' being the key word.

"_Oh, you're so mean Uchiha!"_ she exclaims in a hurt voice. I can tell she's just pretending. _"But you know you like it when I call sometimes because you get so lonely in that apartment all by yourself~!"_

"Thank you for reminding me Yamanaka," I say. It comes out colder than it should. What she says shouldn't set me off, but it does. She jokes about it all the time, and normally I don't mind. Today I do. I'm tempted to hang up on her again, but she's caught my tone and knows what it means.

"_Sorry Uchiha. I didn't mean it like that, honest," _she apologizes quickly enough._ "But you really should get out once in a while. Even when it isn't close to a deadline you just hole yourself up in that place. I worry about you."_

I know she does. I can't really bring myself to care right now. I don't want to talk anymore. It's become a day when I really hate it when she calls.

"Whatever." I hear knocking on my door. It's as good an excuse as any to hang up, so I take it. "Someone's at the door. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"_Wait, Sasuke—!"_

She doesn't get more than that out before the phone is back on the receiver. The knock comes again and I sigh. I go back to pick up my tea and take out the tea bag so it doesn't get too strong, and then I'm over at the door. When I open it the mass of bright blonde hair is the first thing I notice. I don't know whoever it is, but I'm staring at his back. He's got on this horrendously bright orange sweatshirt and loose fitting, worn out jeans. He doesn't notice that I've opened the door. Instead he's leaning over the railing, waving to some people below that are getting back into a truck. I notice the logo on its side and mentally groan. So it really was someone moving in. My eyes move back to the oblivious blonde before me and decide to wait for him to notice me. I lean against my door frame and blow on my tea in the meantime. He turns around just as I take my first sip of it.

"Gah! What the—! What are you, a ninja? How'd you get there?" he shouts in surprise, hands coming up in what looks like automatic defense. His bright blue eyes go wide and he looks like he might have run away for a moment from the scare. It's amusing. An unexpected distraction. How nice of the universe to just drop this on my lap.

"I opened the door like a normal person. It's your fault for not noticing, moron," I reply, still feeling the irritation from Ino's phone call but not quite as much. His cheeks puff out in a pout and it makes him look like even more of a moron.

"Bastard. And here I was hoping I would have a nice neighbor for once," he complains.

"Good luck with that," I reply, if only to see his reaction. I realize that annoying him could become quite a good pastime when I get bored around here, making the presence of a new neighbor more bearable. My only other hope is that he isn't some idiot who likes to make a lot of noise.

"Jerk! Jeez, who mocks someone they've just met?" he asks indignantly, the pout still on his face. I just stare blandly at him and take another sip of tea. He lets out a long sigh, seeing that I wasn't going to answer, and a frown replaces the pout.

"Well whatever. I just came over to say I'm the new friendly neighborhood awesome person, Naruto Uzumaki, and I just moved in next door," he says, planting his hands on his hips. I think he's going for some kind of heroic pose. He completes it by giving me a peace sign and a grin.

I debate whether or not I should give him my name as well. He's exhausting and I'm realizing that I don't want to deal with him right now. Before I can answer with anything though, he's leaning closer to me than before. I take a couple quick steps back, not wanting him any closer to me than he already was, and he looks up at me with a little bewildered expression. Obviously he doesn't have much sense about personal space (is what I think, despite the fact that I know I have more issues about personal space than I'm willing to admit). He blinks and so do I, as I steady myself and try not to look as surprised by his sudden proximity as I actually am.

"Sorry," he says, uncertainty written clearly on his features. I feel like slamming the door on the idiot's face, but that would only make me seem like a coward. Not to mention, he's probably the type to not leave you alone when he wants to know something. So I squash the urge and stand there, a few steps into my apartment, staring back at him. I make no move to go back to where I was. This distance seems suddenly safer than where I was previously.

"Don't apologize, moron. What were you doing?" I say, my voice none too friendly, but not exactly hostile either. He raises an eyebrow, but doesn't question my actions.

"Your tea smelled good. What kind is it?" he asks a little awkwardly. I'm even more surprised at this. He was smelling my tea…?

"Indian Spice Chai," I reply just as awkwardly, not really knowing what else to do. We just stand there for a few more seconds before I decide I've had enough of this newcomer. I have work to do, and despite the fact that Ino thinks I should get out more; finishing the manuscript is more important to me than a social life. Especially since I've never been a very social person in the first place.

I take another step back and reach out for the door, thinking whether or not I should just close the door in his face, but then decide to be polite, if only just this once.

"I have work to do, so if you don't mind, I have to go now," I tell him.

"Oh, uh, sorry. I guess I'll just see you around then," he says, still seeming awkward and unsure what to really do with himself. I move to shut the door but his hand shoots out with an exclamation for me to wait before I even begin to close it. I really shouldn't. I don't want interaction anymore. I don't want a distraction anymore. Not right now. Maybe later, but not now. But I wait like he asks, not sure why I am.

He digs around in his pockets and pulls out a small slightly crumpled, rectangular piece of paper. He offers me a grin and holds it out.

"Here. It's my business card. I'm pretty good at fixing computers and things like that, so if you ever need someone, I'll be happy to help," he tells me. I look at the piece of paper skeptically but take it if only to make sure he won't bug me to take it. I nod my thanks and go to close the door again.

"Wait! I never got your name!" he says quickly, hand shooting out to stop the door. I glare and remove his hand, no longer in the mood to entertain the idiot. But I find myself giving him the answer even as I shut the door in his face.

He doesn't get a chance to take it in and respond before the door is closed. I have nothing more to say. I don't care that my action makes him grumble on the other side and call me a bastard. I ignore it, take a sip of tea, and move on as if he hadn't just moved in next door. I go on with my daily routine.

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**Author's note**: There you have it! Wow, I've realized that when I write, I make characters depressed. Weiiiird. Well, let me know what you think and if you want to see more!


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: **Okay, so here's another chapter since people actually like this! Thanks so much to everyone that left me a review and those that favorited or alerted this story. It leaves a warm feeling in my heart. But anywhos, I must say that I will try to keep my updates close together, though considering my tendency to get distracted and be generally forgetful, there may be long breaks between chapters sometimes. Just a warning. Chapter 3, though, is nearly complete and will be up in a few days as well. For now, please enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** still don't own Naruto, or I wouldn't be here. If I did, I would be wondering how the heck that happened...

**Warnings: **yaoi, as in boyxboy kissing and sex and stuff, swearing, general OOCness with any characters (I apologize if this happens, hence the warning), and drinking

* * *

**Chapter 2**

_Is there any way to forget every bad memory you've ever had?_

There are colors and lights and sounds and people and movement and everything is all blending into one. It's becoming a melting pot where the only things I feel are the physicality of it all and an emotional detachment. I don't feel like myself and at the same time I know I am acting very much myself. So much so that it's become a part of me I can barely recognize. It scares me and I fall deeper into myself, gyrating and grinding and moving along with everyone else looking for a good time or just to forget. I am the latter. Trying to forget everything, but failing so miserably that I'm remembering everything at once.

_What if that memory is something you've once treasured?_

There's a flash of red. A smear of dark eyeliner for a night out. Dark circles beneath tired eyes and the blank, teal green color that fills them.

I spin around and feel the bodies crowded near me. I try to focus on what everyone else looks like, but I find myself too reminded of things I shouldn't be. I want to kill these memories. I want to drown them out.

_What if that memory becomes something you never want to think of again?_

I leave the mass of writhing people feeling an instant cold wrap itself around my skin. I feel bare without the clinging of people and sweat and revealing clothes. A shiver dances down my spine as I make my way (stumbling and vision hazy) back to the bar. The bartender, a pink haired girl with a too tight shirt and skills in flipping bottles to make any juggler green with envy, sees my beeline and starts to pour a shot. She slides it to me when I sit and leans on the counter before me, arms pressing her cleavage up. A few guys nearby ogle her openly, but she ignores them. She focuses on me.

I want her to go away. Pour my drinks but leave me alone.

"Hey there handsome. Get dumped?" she asks as I down the shot. I feel the burn down my throat until it settles in my stomach. I get a pleasant warming sensation, but it doesn't do much for me. I say nothing in response to her query and order another shot. She already knows the answer. She's heard my story already, through the bottomless glasses she's poured for me whenever I end up coming out.

_What if no matter how much you want to forget…_

She gets up and pours me another drink. A few of the guys ogling her frown in disappointment and then move on to the next scantily clad broad they can find.

"Two more and then you're done Uchiha. You're drunk enough already," she says. I shoot her a glare.

What right does she have to tell me to stop drinking? I'm not numb yet. I want to be numb.

…_No matter how painful it's become…_

"Don't argue. I have the right to say when someone's had enough and I can call Ino in a second to make sure you get home," she tells me. I know she will too. She's done it before.

I don't want to go home though. It's too empty there. There's nothing to distract me anymore. There's nothing for me to run into. There's just silence and memories and a bitter feeling of self loathing.

…_No matter how much you try to avoid thinking about it…_

She leaves to tend to other customers. I leave without the two more drinks she said she would allow me. I contemplate going to another club or just another bar. I'm not numb yet, but her threat of calling Ino bounces about in my head enough to pester me into heading for home. I stumble blearily through the city.

My vision is blurry.

My steps are awkward.

My thoughts aren't quite clear.

But I know where I'm going. The few people that are out move around me, avoiding me. I ignore them in return. I don't move for them. I don't think I could if I wanted to. I focus more on just trying to get home.

…_You would cry if you ever lost that memory._

When the apartment comes into view, I stop. There are so many things I don't want.

I don't want to be alone. I don't want to suffer with these memories. I don't want this pain I thought I had protected myself against. But most of all, I don't want to truly forget anything.

I want to hold these painful memories close. I want these bittersweet feelings. I want to remember no matter how numb or how drunk I get. No matter how much I may say I don't want to.

The memories swirl around in my head as I make my way up the stairs to the third floor. I nearly trip three times on my way. I can feel a drowsiness creeping up on me, relentless and persistent. I can see a black darkness infiltrating my sight, fading in and out with each step. I make it as far as my door.

And then I pass out.

_Because it's just that precious to you…even if it means nothing to the one you shared it with…

* * *

_

I don't hear anything from that obnoxious next door neighbor again. I'm always holed up in my house typing away. His business card is bent and wrinkled, pinned to the desk by an empty cup I haven't moved for days. My interest in a distraction is gone. I don't think about him or the fact that he's right next door. I'm lost again in the written words that spill from my mind onto digitalized pages, creating another world in which I don't really exist. I'm a spectator and I am the puppet master. I can make the character do what I say, and though they may run away with themselves at time and take a life of their own, I am able to reign them back in and fit them back into the mold I have cut for them. Everything has to be perfect and I don't tolerate anything less.

I like being in control. I know what to expect.

People aren't controllable, aren't predictable. I can't tell what they're thinking. I'm good at reading them, creating them, but not really interacting with them. I don't like doing things I don't do well. It comes with being a perfectionist: a constant need to be perfect at everything yourself, even if you haven't done it before.

I don't like taking chances very often. There's too much at risk.

I'm not bothered that I don't have a social life anymore. It's no one and nothing's fault but my own, and I take full responsibility for it. I don't want to be bothered with others anymore. I want to stay in my apartment where I can write all day and not interact with the unpredictable people outside. It was my choice to become like this.

Ino doesn't like this choice though, and has told me so as often as possible these past four months. She makes sure to call everyday, even if I never pick up for a few days. If I wait too long, she just comes by and barges in as if she owns the place.

She gives no thought to whether or not I want her company. She makes herself at home and occupies herself with whatever if I ignore her. She doesn't leave.

She gives no regard to the fact that I hate to go 'out on the town'. She drags me out regardless of how I look and steals my keys so that I can't go back home until she lets me.

It's in this one month since I received a forgotten business card from a not so distant (or quiet) blonde that Ino tries to contact me more than usual. I know the reason. I've stopped answering her calls. I've devoted myself to the manuscript once again. The most I go out is to get food (only twice) or a reference material (three times, and two of them were on the same day). She doesn't like losing contact with me for so long, so I know she'll barge in here soon. Maybe today, maybe tomorrow. But I know that she's coming.

Whatever. As long as I can have my peace and quiet until she gets here, that's all I really want.

I type and save and plot and revise all in the safety of my apartment. There's no need to go out now. I have food for the next week or so. I have no one to visit or talk to, besides Ino who will come of her own accord any day now. I have no reason to leave—

…until I can hear the crashing bass and beating drums from next door. It gives me a head ache. It annoys me enough to cause me to lose my concentration, though he's done this many times before. Eventually I get stuck trying to write the same sentence five different ways as the music becomes too much of a distraction to ignore any more.

Who the hell asked if I wanted a new neighbor anyway, let alone a loud, obnoxious blonde one?

Soon enough I'm on my feet, head pounding with the beat. I head over to my neighbor's, not caring that I'm in just sweatpants and a dark long sleeved shirt with no shoes and my glasses on. I like to be presentable, but for this moron I could care less.

I pound on the door, knowing it has to be loud enough to be heard over the music. There's a pause and no answer, so I pound my fist against the wood one more time and I call out, "Uzumaki!"

Another pause, but this time the music lowers to more appropriate levels and footsteps head for the door. There's a crash and incoherent swearing before the door opens, but when it does there Uzumaki is, grinning like an idiot and holding his foot tenderly like he had just kicked something. I wouldn't be surprised if that was what the reason for the crash. I glare down at him, not bothering to mask any annoyance I have toward him.

"Hey there Sasuke! What's up?" he asks, oblivious to my glare obviously.

"Keep your music down moron, I'm trying to work." My head is pounding and talking with this idiot isn't making it any better. I just want it to stop.

"Don't call me a moron, bastard! Ask nicely and maybe I'll do it," he says, crossing his arms and narrowing his own eyes. Is he trying to intimidate me with that? It takes a lot more than someone crossing their arms and _attempting_ (unsuccessfully at that) to glare at me.

"If you didn't hear me the first time, some of us have to work to do, so I'd appreciate it if you kept your damn music down," I growl. He doesn't back down. I was about to spout some profanities about his idiocy, but Ino decides to show up at this moment, calling out to me from down the hall.

"Who's that?" Uzumaki asks, shoving me out of the way more roughly than I had expected in order to stick his head out and see my editor heading toward us. He grins at her, and I fume silently while he greets her enthusiastically.

"Hi, I'm Naruto Uzumaki, next door neighbor to princess here. Are you a friend of the bastard's?"

I resist the urge to pull his door shut on his neck with enough force to decapitate him. It wouldn't reflect very well on Ino's impression of me as a harmless depressed writer. And having a murder on my record certainly wouldn't have a positive effect on my book sales.

Ino grins. "I'm just a co-worker of princess. Ino Yamanaka. Nice to meet you."

I resist the urge to kill her as well because then who would look over my manuscripts? I settle for shooting them both dirty looks to let them know I don't appreciate being called a princess.

"Nice to meet you too. Sasuke was just leaving, so he's all yours now. Bye princess!" Uzumaki says quickly and then shuts the door before Ino has a chance to say goodbye, but not before giving her a wink. She stares at his door for a second, and then looks at me.

"Well," she says, "he seems nice." I glare at her and head to my apartment without a word. He is anything but nice. He's annoying, infuriating, obnoxious…

"Just tell me what you want and let me get back to work Ino," I say, turning to her once we're back in my apartment. She frowns.

"You got thinner again. Are you eating properly?" she asks. I was expecting this. My eyes narrow.

"You're my editor, Ino, not my baby sitter."

"I'm also your friend. When was the last time you were out?" she asks. I roll my eyes and go to pour myself a cup of tea.

"Does it matter? I bought some food a few days ago. Besides, the manuscript is almost finished, so I want to focus on that," I tell her. I count the seconds it takes her to answer. Here it comes…

"That isn't healthy Sasuke. You're coming out with me. Right now. Actually, go get a shower and get dressed. Then we can go out, get some drinks, and relax. You're bottling up too much again," she says, taking my tea from me. She takes a swig and nearly drops the cup when it burns her tongue, but she swallows and grins. "Tonight you're gonna get laid!"

And there it is.

"I hate you," I say without much emotion and no expression, but move to do the things she wants me to do. It's the easiest way to get her off my back and leave me alone again. She takes another tentative sip after blowing on the tea and then grins.

"I love you too princess!" she calls as I enter the bathroom. I slam the door shut to let her know just how much I love the new nickname.

* * *

Nobody at the club catches my fancy, either male or female, not that I'm really looking. I'm just drinking to get drunk again. Ino knows this, but she still tries to regulate me, to get me interested in the other gyrating bodies on the dance floor. At some point she gets me to dance with her, but eventually another guy comes between us and she's lost in the ocean.

I move back to our table where glasses sit emptied and throw down some cash to pay for them before I make my way to the exit. Time to ditch the referee.

Just like when I come out on my own I move between bars, drinking where they will serve me. Even when I'm drunk, I can act as if I'm fine, which helps when I want to drink more somewhere people don't know how much I've already had.

I've had a lot tonight. Ino let me drink more than usual, and after having gone through four more bars and an anonymous number of alcoholic beverages or all shapes and sizes, I end up at the bar where Sakura serves. Everything is fuzzy and my speech has already begun to slur. She doesn't serve me anything, but she lets me occupy a stool at her bar while she mixes cocktails for other customers. I get lost in watching her, and then I start to get dizzy from watching the bottles spin around her hands with expert ease. I lean my forehead against the cool wood of the bar and wonder why I don't just go outside where it's cold enough. I'm too hot in here. Much too hot. I need to get outside.

"Hey!"

I look up as Sakura greets someone with short blonde hair, but keep my head on the bar. I can't make out the person's face, but I don't much care. Once I can lift my head, I'm heading out. I need to get out to the cold air and get into my cold, cold bed. Maybe that will extinguish this burning in my body that's making me too, too hot.

"Sasuke, you ok?" Sakura asks, suddenly much to close. It makes me jerk my head up, and though my head is swimming and the world is tilting at the sudden motion, my head is up. I can go now.

"Will he be okay?" the blonde asks from beside me, looking at the pink haired bartender. I can just imagine Sakura's concerned expression, but I don't want it. I push myself off the stool and sway a little. Then I'm pushing my way through another crowd and heading for the door. I want out. Now.

"Hey Sasuke, wait!"

Ignore it. It'll go away.

There's the door. I push through, past a couple trying to get in. I'm sick. I throw up on the side of the street and it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. Yuck. I spit, trying to get rid of the taste.

I shiver as I walk away, late fall winds proving to be too cold for comfort. My body's burning with ice and I'm not looking forward to my cold, cold bed anymore. I want to be warm again, like I used to be.

"Sasuke, hey!"

I stumble, and that's what makes me stop long enough for that person to catch up with me, not the voice of someone actually calling out to me. I regain my balance and a hand lands on my shoulder, spreading warmth through my skin, penetrating my muscles and reaching my bones.

"Hey, you ok?"

It's the blonde. Even up close the person's face is still fuzzy. I recognize the voice, but I don't know where from. One of the many people I know, or not. I don't know. Leave me alone is the repetitious thought, but the warmth from the hand rubbing circles on my back makes me stop from saying it aloud.

"Mm cold," I mumble quietly, punctuated by a shiver rippling through my spine. Something like a coat is placed on my shoulders, now cold with the absence of the hand.

"Sakura told me to take you home, so come on. You'll be warm soon," the blonde says. And then an arm is around my shoulders, guiding me somewhere, home I suppose. I don't want to go, but I let the warmth lead me because I'm too cold otherwise. I hope that maybe the warmth will stay with me so that my cold, cold bed won't be so lonely anymore. I hope, but I don't know.

* * *

**Author's Note:** There we go, all done! Please leave all comments, praises, and/or flames in a review by clicking the button below. Thank you and have a good day! :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: **And here is yet another chapter! Honestly, this should have been up a few days ago...I got lazy and didn't want to reread like I usually do before I post to check for errors. Eheh, sorry? -is stabbed- Anywhos, I apologize if my updates become farther inbetween as I have posted another story and other plotbunnies have decided to torment my brain until I write them out. Of course, being easily distracted and depressed by writing depressing things like this, even though this is usually the kind of things my plotbunnies like to produce, I get sidetracked... In any case, this story will (hopefully) take precedence over any other ideas I may be writing as well, and I will try to keep up with this. As for any other stories I have posted and possibly will post, they will get attention, but not quite as much.

On another note, thank you so much for your reviews and alerts and favorites as always! Please continue to support me and help me get Sasuke out of his idiotic depression! Thank you very much and enjoy the chapter! :D

**Disclaimer: **I do not and shall never own Naruto or the characters within. Oh woe is me.

**Warning: **boyxboy romancing, sexing, kissing, and the like, swearing, Sasuke's alcoholic drunken depressingness, possible (and untinentional) OOCness of characters

* * *

**Chapter 3**

**(Please note in order to prevent confusion, because I know some people don't read author notes, that this first part is in the past. That is all. Enjoy.)**

_This bed is cold._

The mornings are the worst. Although I am generally a morning person needing little effort to wake up, I hate them the most of all. Nights are bad too, if only for how long they stretch when thoughts keep me awake for hours. Meaningless thoughts that go round about and have no point except to keep me from peaceful sleep. But mornings are still the worst.

And so is this one. This morning I hate most of all.

_It steals all the heat I have, all the energy I have._

This morning I wake up. There's nothing different about my apartment. Everything is in its place. The papers and dishes that were left out to be taken care of the next day are where they were left last night. The sheets are tangled and I am naked.

For the first time I feel completely exposed. The vulnerability is what forces me to get up even though my body protests, weaker than usual with lethargy and something else I won't name, that I won't even begin to contemplate. I refuse.

_Until there's nothing left but a sack of skin, barely breathing._

A shower is first in order. I feel disgusting; it's only natural I want to cleanse myself of this. I don't feel the temperature of the water and enter icy sheets of rain. Memory stalls me and I'm stuck for a moment. Last night…last night…

But then I'm moving again, through the icy water, washing myself. I don't change the temperature even though I know I'm shivering. I step out and hurry back to my room. I'm still naked. I'm still vulnerable. I don't feel any cleaner than before. Clothes get thrown on and I'm ready to start the day.

_Barely alive._

I can't bring myself to move from in front of the mirror hanging on the closet door. I don't want to start this day. I hate this day. I want to crawl back into bed and go back to sleep. I want to pretend that this never happened. I need to pretend that that never happened. There was never anyone here. There was never anyone there. Last night was just a dream and I will wake from it soon. It's all my imagination.

Hoping and pretending doesn't erase memories though. And it doesn't change reality.

My eyes lock onto the vacated bed. Sheets and covers thrown carelessly to the side, kicked down and twisted. I feel the impulse to fix them, but let it go for now. That's not what had my attention. It's the fact that there's only one pillow on the twin bed when there used to be two.

_I hate this bed._

I rush from the room, looking all around the apartment. I look in the cupboards, the medicine cabinet, the shelves, the drawers. I search my wardrobe. I find nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing. The nothingness makes me want to scream, but I'm an Uchiha and I have more pride than that. It doesn't make the chunk missing any smaller though.

There's nothing left. Nothing of his, not even a shirt or one of the gaudy rings his sister gave him that he used to leave all the time. He didn't miss anything. It's all gone, long gone. There's no use rushing out after either. I have no idea when he left. Damn. I need a cigarette.

I pause. A cigarette….

I move slowly, cautiously, as if it would disappear if I became too eager and moved too quickly. I know it will be there. He must have forgotten about it a long time ago anyway. He wouldn't take this…and it's there. Right where I left it, in the drawer I threw it in a week ago when he left without a word only to come back last night. Last night…last night…

Why do I care? Why do I have this lighter clenched so tight in my fist? Do I think it will disappear if I let go?

…Yes. I do. It's the last piece after all.

I lie back down on my bed, lighter clenched between fingers and palm, and close my eyes. I imagine for a moment the he's still there. I imagine that I'm still asleep. The sheets are dirty, as they usually are after we meet, but instead of the feeling of satisfaction, there is a feeling of disgust. But I don't move from where I lay. I push those thoughts from my mind and continue to imagine. It's another morning, from before. I hate them, but I didn't hate them as much then. I wonder why and know that I don't want to know the answer.

_I can't bring myself to get rid of it. The things that remind me of him._

* * *

Waking up with hangovers make mornings one hundred times worse than usual, but the reasons for them make nights move faster, quicker, better. I don't want to get up, but I know I can't go back to sleep with this pain. It's sharp and throbbing and makes me want to stab the sun in the heart for shining so brightly. Right after throwing up.

I'm up and in the bathroom, though I stumble once or twice on the way, before my headache has a chance to catch up. It returns full blast as my head is in the toilet bowl, emptying whatever was in my stomach. The porcelain is cold and feels nice, so I rest my head against it hoping to lessen the pain and allow myself to get my bearings while my stomach settles. I take deep breaths. I have enough experience with this to know not to move too quickly, though that mad dash to the toilet was necessary. I need to wash my mouth and drink some water. Coffee would be better, but I don't think I could make it at the moment. My head is still muddled after all.

When I go to stand, I realize that I'm naked. I'm vulnerable. I'm exposed. I steady myself on the sink and look into the mirror. What looks back is a pale face with bags under dark bloodshot eyes. It's nothing to look at.

I try to remember last night and it comes back with some difficulty, which isn't surprising. To be honest neither is the fact that I'm naked, but the feeling of being so makes me uncomfortable. I figure I brought some girl or guy home and we did what usually happens when I take someone home, even if I can't remember the next morning. I remember Ino forcing me out, taking me to a club and dancing with me. But then I left and everything blurred together after that. It doesn't cause much concern. But I want my bed back. Whoever I brought back needs to leave. Now.

With a deep breath I slap some cold water on my face to help sober myself up and then dry swallow a few pain killers. Then I return to my room slowly, so I won't set off another round of vomiting. That is unpleasant enough without doing it in front of someone else.

I'm ready to kick whoever it is out, but I return to an empty room. There's no one in my bed, though I know someone should be. Perhaps they ran off before I woke up. Good. I didn't want to deal with them anyway. I sigh and pull on a pair of sweatpants and a shirt. At least now I'm covered.

A door opens and in walks an intruder. "Oh, Sasuke, you're up. How're you feeling?" is all he has to say. It's all blonde hair, blue eyes and obnoxiousness.

My eyebrow twitches. His voice is too loud and makes me grimace. I glare at him. "What the hell are you doing here moron? Do you usually break into your neighbor's homes?"

He doesn't even have the decency to look ashamed.

"Don't call me a moron! I wasn't the one drinking all hours of the night!" he exclaims too loudly for my liking, like he's angry at having to defend himself.

"Whatever, just don't shout, moron," I reply, pushing past him to get a glass of water. I don't want to argue if he'd just going to yell. My head hurts enough already.

"Ah! Hey!" he shouts, further grating on my nerves while he stays right beside me. But then he continues more quietly, "I made some coffee and breakfast if you want some. Sorry I raided your kitchen, but you'll feel better with something in your stomach and caffeine in your system."

I glare sideways at him, but take his offer as I'm still in no mood to argue. I suppose this can make up for breaking into my place if it's any good. It doesn't mean that I want him to stay though. I take a seat at the island between my living room and kitchen where he's put the food and coffee. It's simple, but surprisingly good. Nothing spectacular, but good nonetheless. I had expected worse from the idiot. He doesn't seem very competent after all. He takes a seat beside me and just kind of watches me. It's unnerving.

"What? Don't you have work?" I ask, annoyed that he has the gall to just stay here as if he belonged. He grins.

"Nope. I don't work Sundays," he says. And then his expression turns a little more serious. "Sakura was worried about you last night so she asked me to take you home once she realized we lived next to each other. What were you thinking, getting that drunk?"

Well that solves the mystery of who I came home with last night. I let out an exhausted sigh. Isn't that just wonderful I just had to take home my next door neighbor who just happens to be obnoxious and annoying, and doesn't know when to leave a person's house? I ignore his question.

"I appreciate you taking me back, but if anything happened between us last night, forget about it. One night is all I offer, nothing more," I say, finishing off the eggs and taking another sip of coffee. Despite the caffeine, I still feel drowsy. I want to go back to sleep, but I want this idiot out first.

Naruto raises his eyebrows and then laughs, which I find quite rude and only makes me want to kick him out faster. I settle for giving him a glare for now, hoping he'll get the message. He doesn't.

"Nothing happened. You stripped, pulled me into bed and then passed out on top of me," he says amusement evident. I don't find it amusing at all. He seems very unsurprised that I even came onto him, but I don't much care for whatever response he wants to give my sexuality. I glare at him harder over my coffee mug.

"Seriously. Even if you were still conscious, I wouldn't have let you. I don't screw random people. I'm a romantic," he tells me nonchalantly, as if that should reassure me. Great. He's a romantic. I scoff.

"Romance is for fools who think they know love," I mutter and finish off my coffee. His face turns serious again, though more curious this time.

"Is that why you drank so much last night?" he asks. I merit that with no response as it deserves none. He doesn't know me. He shouldn't be making such assumptions about my decisions as they don't concern him.

"Why are you still here moron?" I ask, moving to clean my dishes.

"Don't call me a moron, bastard! Sorry if I was worried about you, jeez," he exclaims, muttering the last part though I still heard it. It makes me stop and turn to glare at him. My head throbs. Just go away.

"What?"

"Get out."

He looks at me with a little disbelief. Did he not hear me properly?

"Get out," I repeat in the same low tone, quite clear and with no room for misinterpretation.

"Are you seri—?"

"Uzumaki!" I interrupt and then as calmly as I can, "Get out."

He stares, meeting my glare for a few seconds before standing with a huff and leaving, muttering about something or other. I don't pay attention. I just turn back to my dishes and listen for the door to shut. At nearly the same time it does, a plate gets hurdled across the room and shatters against the wall. I don't bother picking it up when I head back to bed.

* * *

There's a loud knocking that wakes me up, and I realize I've been asleep for just about six hours since this morning. It's nearly four in the afternoon now. Fortunately the hangover has just about passed. There's a left over head ache, which is currently being aggravated by the obnoxious knocking, but nothing much else. Sleep did me some good at least, and it seems like forever since I've had some decent rest. The knocking continues so I get up just so I can make it stop.

When I open the door it's Ino who's standing there, but she isn't facing my door. She's looking to her right and saying something I don't care about. But I know without having to look out that it's Uzumaki she's talking to because he lives to my left. I don't want to talk to him. So I grab her arm and pull her in, closing the door behind her without letting her finish the conversation. The shriek she lets out at the pull makes me grit my teeth, but at least it is mercifully short.

"Sasuke! That wasn't nice! I was in the middle of talking to someone," she says, irritated and scolding me like I'm some kind of child. I shrug my indifference to the fact and then go to make some tea.

"What did you want Ino?"

It takes a second before she follows me in to the island and takes a seat. "How are you feeling?" she asks.

"Dandy," I reply and step around broken plate pieces in my slippers to put on the kettle. I can only figure she notices my careful steps and sees the broken plate.

"Did you really get that drunk last night?" she asks with concern. I shoot her a look, but she doesn't back down as she simply gestures to the broken dish with a frown. "Sakura called me this morning about it. I'm glad Naruto was there to take you home last night. She said she wasn't sure if you would have made it on your own."

"Sakura can go worry over someone else. I would have been fine. All his bringing me home did was give me an even larger headache this morning," I tell her with all the kindness of an attacking shark. Ino frowns more and narrows her eyes at me. I meet her eyes with cold ones of my own.

"You're bitter Sasuke. You won't get over anything with that kind of attitude."

I narrow my eyes at her and meet her hard stare.

"I'm not trying to get over anything _Yamanaka_, so don't try to tell me I'm bitter."

I don't need her to tell me that I am.

"That's exactly the reason you _are_ bitter. You're not trying. I know you're hurt Sasuke, but for gods' sake you need to man up and let it go. You're acting like a whiny bitch," she says with finality.

"And you're being a nagging bitch," I shoot back harshly. "The reason I'm any semblance of pleasant to you is that you're my editor Yamanaka. Don't start thinking we're friends." I turn back to the kettle, which is screaming, and turn off the flame beneath it while Ino lets out a frustrated noise.

"Sometimes I really hate working with you, you know that? But that's why I worry about you," she says quietly. She stands up while I pour myself a cup of tea. I don't bother getting one for her. I know she'll leave in a few seconds anyway. I didn't expect her to stay long.

"Clean up that plate before you or someone else gets cut on it. Can't have the infamous Uchiha Sasuke getting hurt before he turns in his manuscript," she says with just a hint of sarcasm, and then heads for the door where she pauses. She looks back at me and I look away, already dismissing her as gone. "You may not think I'm a friend, or that you _need_ a friend, Sasuke, but I care about you. I don't want to see you destroy yourself. Give people a chance to get close to you."

She watches me a moment longer while I continue to sip my tea and ignore her presence. And then she's gone. The door clicks shut behind her and I am once again alone. I sip my tea, but it tastes bitter. It makes me grimace, so I throw it away into the sink and put away the mug. I glance down at the broken plate, still there from this morning and decide I might as well clean it up now.

* * *

**Author's Note:** There you are, lovelies! Reviews as nice and easy to do, so please let me know what you think or Sasuke will be more depressed than he already is! :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: **Hello again. No I have not died, this has just been the longest interval between updates for this story so far. Trust me, it hasn't been the longest on record. Unfortunately, I must say that the intervals may become this long or longer since I have now officially started my first year of college! Hooray! So in between homework and other things, I shall be trying to write these chapters and update accordingly. I'll appreciate it if you all stayed with me during this time.

Now, thank you very much everyone once again for your reviews. I love you all, and I'm glad I'm getting positive responses to this! I wasn't sure how people were going to react to this, so I put it up with a little trepidation. But since people like it, I shall finish it to the end, wherever that may take us! For now, here is the new chapter. Please enjoy (even though Sasuke's a depressed bastard)!

**Disclaimer: **I do not and shall never own Naruto or the characters that coincide with that franchise. Thank you.

**Warning: **AU, malexmale relationships, depression, Sasuke staring at telephones, Naruto being manipulative and nosy, insults, and other things I may have forgotten about.

* * *

**Chapter 4**

_Being independent is important._

I stare at the telephone hanging on my wall. It's big, black and clunky, and has a long tightly spiraled wire hanging from the receiver to the stand. I wonder if I should get it replaced with something smaller, something sleeker and more modern. Something without a ridiculously long wire hanging from it. But then I decide I don't care. It still works. That's what counts. There's never anyone here (except for Ino but she doesn't count) to notice the monstrous thing. I don't like having guests and the few that come home with me are out quick enough whether by my persuasion or their guilt at the one night stand. Considering how many people I've slept with, it's a wonder that I haven't gotten anything from anyone. I don't know how that happened but I guess it's one less thing to worry about.

_Being able to support oneself without the help of others is a sign of strength._

I bring my focus back to the telephone.

Why am I even using the phone? It's not like I couldn't just meet with him in person and ask. But I don't want to face him. I mean, I don't want to talk to him face to face. I'm trying to create some distance between us after all. I don't like when people think they can get closer to me and he seems to think he can. I won't let that happen though.

That is why I am currently staring at the telephone. It's for distance. Telephone conversations are impersonal. You don't see the other person's face. You only hear their voice.

I'm reminded that I really don't like his voice. It's loud, obnoxious, and gravely. But there isn't another way to do this since there isn't an e-mail address on this business card.

_If I am strong, I need no one._

There's just an office number. I know he's at work, or at least I hope he's still at work. It's only three in the afternoon, and I would have called earlier but I hadn't exactly known I would be needing this kind of service when I started today. I need to get this done and soon. There wasn't much left to finish, but the new content wasn't saved yet. I blame myself partially for being incompetent for once and not saving regularly on the back up, but I also blame Ino for the reason I need to call the moron.

With an irritated sigh over the reasons and lost data and general unfairness of the situation, I pick up the telephone at last and lean back against the wall next to it. The card is crumpled and has creases and brown rings left from mugs of coffee and tea sitting on it. The letters and numbers printed on it are still visible though.

_But sometimes there are some things one just can't do._

My finger hovers over the dial pad for a moment. I could skip the whole annoying situation and search the yellow pages for a professional. My mind bugs me by telling me that he _is_ a professional and that he has already offered to help anyway. The memory of the first day tries to resurface and gets pushed back down because I don't need to relive memories to know what's been said.

_And even if you don't want to admit a weakness…_

I look at the business card once more and dial the numbers show, wait, and then punch in the extension number. While the dial tone buzzes in my ear I wonder for a moment if he would be willing to help anymore. For some reason I can't see why he would want to. But it's just a job and I can pay him whatever he wants in return. I figure money is a good enough incentive as any.

The dial tone breaks off mid buzz and a voice answers, surprisingly business-like and calm compared to the one I know. _"Jinchuuriki Software Company, this is Naruto speaking. How may I help you?"_

I wait a second before answering. "Hello moron."

_Sometimes you need to call someone to help.

* * *

_

It's been another month. Another month of an empty apartment, drunken nights, and an editor looking too much into my life. She hasn't backed off any even after I told her off last time. I've decided to let that go for now and try to block her attempts to care for me like some kind of mother hen. Our relationship is writer/editor. There should be no reason for her interest in my private life.

I have also holed myself up in my apartment as usual. Ino hasn't pulled me out with her yet, and I doubt she'll make the mistake of taking me out drinking again. We'd gone out drinking together before, but last time was the worst though I usually always ditch her at some point. I can only imagine what Sakura told her of that night.

As for Uzumaki, I haven't seen him since. It's something in between avoiding him and actually just missing each other on our ways in or out. But since I hardly go out, there aren't many chances for those types of encounters anyway. I still hear the noise he makes next door, but the most I do is pound on the wall between us to let him know that he's gotten too loud. He'll yell an apology and I'll go back to ignoring his existence. Not the most preferable situation as I like peace and quiet, but it's better than him having his music wailing at all hours of the day when he isn't at work without consideration of his neighbors. Sometimes he'll try to come over or make small talk when he sees me, but for the most part I ignore him. For some unfathomable reason he seems to find amusement in irritating me. It isn't appreciated, though it's a reciprocated feeling since I find it amusing to watch him get red faced and flustered, though the yelling that normally ensues is not so amusing as the rest.

Today, though, he is supposed to be coming over. He said he would fix my computer the day he moved in and since I need it fixed right away, I figured he could do it considering he lives next door. It isn't a favor from a neighbor. It is a business transaction.

My computer crashed around noon today due to a virus which has unfortunately given me the blue screen of death. I hate Ino at the moment because it was her disc with supposed "research" on it that gave my computer said blue screen of death. Within this month I managed to finish my last manuscript and start a new one which required more research before really getting into it. Ino volunteered to help by gathering some of it on a disc, but I suppose she hadn't checked if the disc was clean.

And so I've been sitting here on my couch, drinking tea to calm my nerves that were currently telling me to go find Ino and give her computer the blue screen of death and see how she liked it, while waiting for Uzumaki to finish his work day so he could come back and fix my god damn computer with hopefully minimal damages. Although I'm aware that I've lost tons of valuable content, I'm glad I have a back up with some of the data on it. If not, the computer may not have fared so well. For the moment it has remained unharmed for the possible content left undestroyed by the virus.

The reading of a reference book I was given as well for this project is not going quite so well either. There are plenty of them lying around now on the coffee table and desk, next to the computer. None of it is inspiring any ideas, nor is any of it sticking long enough anyway. I scowl at myself. Why did I call that moron again?

There's a knock on the door. Either it's Ino or it's Uzumaki. I'm hoping for the latter so I can get this over with. He should have been here by now anyway. I get up, putting down the tea and book so that I can get the door for whoever it is. When I open it, it's Uzumaki who's standing there with his fist up about to knock again. His hair is combed, a little more tamed today than the times I've seen it, though it looks ruffled, like he's run his hands through it often enough. He's got a suit on too, though the tie is a little crooked and loose. He grins at me sheepishly and brings the hand that was about to knock behind his head with a nervous laugh.

"Hey there Sasuke. You needed my assistance with something?" he asks.

"Hn. Come in," is all I say, and walk back into my apartment. He follows me to the computer and I gesture to it with a scowl.

"My editor gave me a disc which in turn gave my computer the blue screen of death. I need to know if you can fix it and salvage any files," I explain professionally. He looks serious in his suit and like any other businessman. For him to be working for Jinchuuriki Software Company, he seems to be doing well for himself in terms of work. But if he just sells the software, that isn't of any use to me.

He has a thoughtful expression, and I resist the urge to tell him not to hurt himself by thinking so hard, because I am being professional and being professional entails that you do not insult the person you are employing. I need to be at least polite and decent to him if I want him to fix my computer correctly and recover the files. He glances at me then back at the computer.

"Well, I suppose I could. You may want to think of getting a newer computer or at least better virus protection when I'm done," he says. "As for salvaging data, I might be able to get some of it from the dump file, but I can't guarantee I'll get all or even most of it."

I frown more. It wasn't what I was hoping for. "Just save what you can."

"Alright," he replies with a nod, and then moves to sit down at the desk. But then he looks over at me with a mischievous grin and I find myself wanting to kick him out again even though this time I let him in myself. "We can talk about payment later, okay Sasuke-bastard?"

I raise an eyebrow and then return to my spot on the couch to my books and tea. I remind myself that I shouldn't return the insult…for now at least. But it's Uzumaki's grin that makes me shake my head as I open the book to continue my research. "Tch, moron," I mutter with a scowl, unable to resist a little jibe.

* * *

Grilling some chicken bought by the idiot, I find myself grimacing. What did I do to deserve this?

Uzumaki fixed my computer and managed to salvage some data after all, though not as much as I had hoped. He recommended a few brands of security software I could use, and I thought that would be it. He would demand some amount of money normally paid for this kind of service and be on his merry way, and then I could go back to ignoring his existence. But no. The moron just wanted to annoy me even more. Instead of demanding some outrageously high price for fixing a computer, which I wouldn't have minded paying because I have money to spare from book sales, he demanded that I make him dinner. For the next three months.

He said he would bring anything I would need to make the meals as long as I cooked and ate with him. It's a simple request, but it doesn't annoy me any less. I don't want to spend my evenings with Uzumaki any more than I would want to spend them with Ino. He gives me headaches and makes me think too much of things I don't want to think about.

But I still find myself going along with his request because it's the only payment he will accept, it seems.

"That smells really good," he says from his place on my couch. It seems to have become his favorite place to wait for me to finish cooking since I started this…whatever it is three days ago. "Is it almost done?"

"No. Shut up and wait patiently. You're the one that asked for this, idiot," I reply, flipping the chicken over and adding some seasoning. He grumbles about not being an idiot (all lies in my opinion), but settles back down and doesn't say another word.

I don't know what to call this relationship. I'd much rather he not be here. Even though he comes here and I cook for him, I still avoid conversation with him. He speaks enough to uphold a one-sided conversation anyway while I tune him out. I don't understand why he's doing this, not that I want to. But it's confusing still.

I finish all too soon and then we're sitting together at the island that serves as my dining table because there's never anyone but me to eat here. I just eat quickly and quietly like I usually did at my computer before an uninvited guest decided to appear every night. He insists that I sit with him to eat, though I have work I need to do, and he eats in such an unsophisticated way, so different from how I've been brought up. The lack of mannerism irritates me and makes me wonder what kind of upbringing taught him how to chew like that or talk with his mouth full.

But I never learn much of his past though he continually talks despite my lack of response. He just says things about his days or spouts off nonsense about something or other. Today it's about some woman he was helping on over the phone that was partially deaf. I only know this because I catch the tail end of his conversation with the air before he decides that halfway through eating would be a good time to stare me down. I'm rather unperturbed by the staring as it happens a lot from random strangers, but I don't like that he's focusing so much attention on me. So I give him a sidelong glare and frown.

"What?"

He leans his chin on an arm that's propped up on the island and gives me this knowing look.

"You don't like me very much do you?" he asks. I give him a flat stare because really, how could he not have noticed my lack of welcoming toward him until just now?

"Whatever gave you that idea?" I retort. It doesn't wipe that look off of his face though, like he was expecting that response.

"Well, the insults for one. The less than welcoming atmosphere of these dinners, the way you threw me out last time, and your general lack of social life contribute too," he says in a matter-of-factly voice.

"Congratulations, you're not a complete failure at life," I reply. This earns me a scowl and cheeks tinted pink with anger.

"Stuck up prick," he retorts and then asks, "Are you like this with everyone you meet?"

"No, just the stupid looking ones," I tell him without a glace, and place another piece of chicken in my mouth.

"Bastard! Quit insulting my intelligence; I fixed your computer you know!"

I just shrug and continue to eat as if he hadn't said a thing. At least that smug look is gone. He stabs the chicken and cuts off another piece while I roll my eyes at the childish action. He grumbles about something I can't hear and don't care to know about.

And then, "The chicken's really good, bastard." He says it, grumbling, as if he's reluctant to admit it, and doesn't look at me when he does. All this does is make me raise an eyebrow.

Otherwise, I ignore the compliment and Uzumaki the rest of the time until he leaves. He doesn't attempt to make much conversation with me either, not even the one sided kind he usually does. And then he leaves and I clean up after both of us as has become the norm for now. I don't think much of it except for the fact that it's the first time he willingly shut up.

The next few days go by in much the same way as the end of that night. He doesn't say much, but I catch him staring for some reason or another. I don't bother with asking why because that would invite conversation; even if it is annoying that he does so. Unfortunately, curiosity is an annoying human trait, and it builds up day by day so that I end up asking him about it by the end of the week.

"Why am I staring?" he asks, as if he's distracted by something or other. He just keeps staring for a minute more before looking up and away. "That's a good question."

I scowl. The hell kind of an answer is that?

"It's annoying, so stop it moron. Or does your brain capacity prevent you from understanding that it's rude to stare?" I say. The insult is to get a rise from him, so that I can see what I know of him again. Although a quiet Uzumaki makes for a relatively more pleasant evening, it also…disturbs me for some reason. I'm used to him being loud and obnoxious, talking my ear off even after I tell him to stop and threaten to poison his food. And even though the threats never work because they are empty—killing someone never does anyone any good—he does temper himself a little bit afterwards until he forgets and I need to remind him again. But now threats aren't necessary because he's keeping quiet all on his own. And I want to know why, because this quiet that used to be pushed away when he came is beginning to unnerve me.

Uzumaki rises to the bait and glares over the food.

"Excuse my brain capacity, but I'm sure it isn't as low as someone's who couldn't fix a computer," he says, bringing up the reason he's even sitting here now once again. I raise an eyebrow.

"Says the one who can't cook for himself," I retort quickly enough. There's a sense of ease in how we settle into the insults and comebacks. But it's brought up short as he opens his mouth to rebuff me, but then closes it again with a contemplative look. And I don't know what to do next, so I stare right back at the blue eyes that seem to have been watching me every night all week.

"You know what?" he begins, his tone and expression like he had come to a decision. I hope that it's a decision to stop coming here for meals, though I doubt it is. I don't know how I'll get through these three months. "I think I've thought of a better way for you to pay me. You don't seem like you're very happy with the arrangement now anyway."

Well…maybe hopes can come to fruition sometimes after all.

"Go on a date with me the day after tomorrow," he says.

Or maybe not.

I give him a flat stare. He looks serious, but that doesn't mean it still can't be a joke. It must be. I've given him no reason to think I would accept a proposal like this. I don't think I've even given him a reason to think I would like him in that way, or even as a friend. There may have been the time I woke up with him in my bed after my night out with Ino, but I was drunk. I can hardly believe I would have picked him had I been sober, and I even kicked him out afterwards. I've ignored him, insulted him, threatened him, and made very clear I don't want anything to do with him, regardless of the fact that I am currently supposed to be making dinner for him each night. But his expression is set and serious, even though there's the hint of a smile there in the expression. Like he's trying to assure me that this is a genuine offer.

It makes me want to laugh.

It makes me want to scoff and tell him off and kick him out of my apartment again. But there's still food left on his plate and he's still eating. It would be rude to keep him from finishing the meal I made to pay him for my computer. So instead I am expressionless and give him a flat refusal of, "No."

He can tell I'm just as serious as him, I know he can. But still, he presses on without a care.

"If you do, you won't have to cook for me anymore. And if you really don't like me even after the date, I'll leave you alone," he tells me. And it's tempting. If I just spend one whole day with the idiot, assuming I survive, then I would probably never have to seen again, barring any accidental coincidences since we _are_ neighbors after all. That seems…very favorable. It would be a clean way of ridding myself of Uzumaki as I would no longer need to cook him things, nor would I be required to go on any further "dates" with him. It shortens the required time of three months of him coming over into one day spent with him.

I dislike that he is referring to it as a date though, like we are actually going to try at a relationship. I don't want a relationship. I'm fine the way I am. I have simple needs that can be met with anyone at a bar. I don't need to settle with just one person when I can find plenty of others. Besides, I don't need all the baggage that comes with relationships, from being sensitive to your partner's feelings to remembering things about them, the expectancy to fall in love with them. I don't need that pressure and I certainly don't want it. But if going on a date with Uzumaki will make him leave me alone, then I suppose I could do it. I can indulge whatever it is he wants from this, and after that he can leave me alone. A fair trade in my mind.

He sits and waits patiently as I go over everything in my mind, actually giving thought to the proposal this time instead of instantly telling him no, until at last I come to a conclusion.

"One date?" I ask, making sure that was all he wanted and then I could be rid of him.

"One date," he replies with a nod in confirmation. I draw it out, trying to make him impatient, but he doesn't squirm. He just takes another bite of his dinner and continues to make eye contact. At last I answer him with a simple, "Fine."

A feeling of dread, like I had just fallen into some kind of trap, washes over me as Uzumaki starts to grin victoriously.

"Great," he says. "I'll see you Saturday."

* * *

**Author's Note: ** Eheh...yeah. So there you have it. Sasuke's agreed to a date with Naru-chan. Can't wait to see how this goes :) God, I need to stop changing things from the plot I've written out... Anyway, please let me know what you think in the form of a review or message or whatever, it doesn't matter as long as you share your opinion because I like hearing readers' opinions on how I written stuff or if they even like it. Thank you :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:** Okay. So. It's been...two, three months now? I'm super sorry! Don't attack me! I didn't mean for it to take this long, but school and making friends got in the way. Considering I'm not very good at making friends because I'm very quiet and shy, I'm really happy about this. And it's college, a new place. Anywhos, sorry for taking so long. The next chapter is nearly done. I just need to go over it a little before it gets posted. So be happy. I wanted to get through that before this got posted. Well, please enjoy and the next one will be up soon!

**Warning: **yaoi, malexmale relations, swearing, Sasuke being a whiny bitch and depressed because he's always depressed and a whiny bitch, alcohol consumption, Naruto cooking, etc.

**Disclaimer:** don't own Naruto or any of the characters within.

* * *

**Chapter 5**

_I hate dates._

It's been a while since I've been able to get out at night. I lock myself up, writing away, but I realize why Ino tries to take me out every once in a while. It's been even longer since Uzumaki decided to make me cook him dinners, but now I don't have to. Now I can go out and drink without needing to waste time with him.

_Dates are getting-to-know-you things._

A brunette with her hair pulled back into buns catches my eye from where she is on the dance floor. She winks and crooks a finger at me, dancing all the while. I'm filling myself up with alcohol and am sitting alone at the bar. I need distraction. So I follow the brunette into the crowd.

_Both parties must actively participate for it to be a success._

We gyrate with the rest of the mass of bodies, pressed against each other, as the crowd doesn't allow for much more than an inch of space between, if that. It doesn't matter. She wants a partner and I want distraction. We work with each other, move with each other, and the music washes over us. The alcohol leaves a warm fuzzy feeling in me, but I haven't had enough yet. I don't think I'll ever have enough. Brown eyes give heated glances, which I reciprocate before she closes in and closes her mouth over mine. It's a bit sloppy from the alcohol, but not unpleasant. I think I've found my distraction.

_They are for people who want to fall in love._

The night wears on and the brunette stays with me. We dance, we drink, she talks and I listen with half an ear. I don't care much about what she's saying, but I know she wants a partner. For once I don't want to take anyone home with me, but she's just as willing to take me to where she's staying. She doesn't seem to mind the fact that this will be a one-night stand. It's probably what she's looking for anyway, and that's exactly what I want. So she beckons me outside and I follow her into the cold, down the street to a hotel in the opposite direction of my place.

_Not for people who only like a bed-warmer once in a while._

I don't notice much about where the room as we're on each other almost as soon as she closes the door. We make it to the bed, her leading me there with lustful glances as she does so, and then the clothes come off. There's nothing slow or sensual about it. It's quick and painless, and then we're on each other again. She's underneath me with soft skin, all sighs and moans while my hands roam and our lips move together. There isn't much grace or art in the coupling either. Just a drunken haze, humping, petting, and groping. Coming together in the way only sex brings two people together, and then falling in to a sated, tired state beside each other.

She mumbles that I can stay the night before turning over and falling asleep herself. I'm tired and drunk, and I want to sleep too. So I roll over and fall asleep like her.

In the morning, I'm awake before the brunette. I get up, put on my clothes and leave before she has a chance to say otherwise, although I doubt she would. She knew what she wanted and she knew I wanted the same. Just some sex with a stranger, no strings attached. A one-night stand and someone to warm the place beside her. I realize I never asked for her name. I realize I never gave her mine. I also realize that though we probably won't see each other again, it won't matter. This is a one-time incident and nothing more.

I arrive back at my apartment and walk up to my door. It's nearly eight thirty in the morning by the time I get there, a half an hour after Uzumaki would have left since he works mornings on Saturdays. So then, a post-it note has been stuck to my door for the past thirty minutes by that moron, who probably didn't even know I was gone. What was he going to do if I hadn't seen it?

I sigh, a bit angry, a bit frustrated, and a bit frazzled by the whole thing as I rip down the post-it and walk inside to clean my self up from a night of alcohol and sex.

_I hate dates.

* * *

_

Uzumaki seems to be very excited about this goddamn date he's tricked me into. He'll mention it with this happy tone whenever he sees me, to which I just scowl. He doesn't seem bothered by my reaction though which just makes me want to scowl even more.

The "date" we were supposed to have has been postponed. Ino had decided to come by the day after the "date" was set up and told me about a book signing I was supposed to be doing over the weekend. I don't like book signings. They take too much time. There are women mooning over how much they loved the book and how I look, among other unpleasant things. It mostly comes down to the fact that I don't like crowds or contact with lots of people all at once. But when Ino brought me this news, I accepted it without much fuss. I know she thought it was strange, but I was hoping that it would cancel the "date" and that Uzumaki would have no need to set up another time for it.

"Thank you for reading my book."

Unfortunately that was not the case. So now I am sitting in a bookstore signing books for people I don't know, as I have been for the past three hours and will be doing so for another three hours more today at least. Tomorrow it will be the same thing at another location. And I still need to go on a "date" with that moron as well.

When I told Uzumaki about the change in plans, he was quick enough about a solution. Just wait until he had a day off, which would be Wednesday, only a few days away. Great. What a wonderful back up plan.

True it was far fetched for him to never be free again to do the so-called "date," but I had really hoped that perhaps he wouldn't ask for a rain check on it. I suppose it's not as bad as I'm making it though. I won't have to deal with him afterwards. He says if I still don't like him after, he'll leave me alone. With the exceptions of coincidences and accidental run-ins, which would probably be few and far between since I rarely leave unless it's nighttime, he would be out of my hair. I wouldn't have to worry about his obnoxious annoying personality or the way he tries to pry into my life when he isn't wanted in it. I would be left in peace.

Another book, another signature. "Thank you for reading my book." A fake smile, charm included to fool them all. Just until the hours of sitting here are over, and then the same thing will happen the next day.

I wonder when this will end. I hate things like this, by the way, if it wasn't mentioned before. I really do.

Ino appears, a cup of hot coffee in her hand. I don't know how she does it sometimes. I was beginning to get exhausted from this anyway and hopefully the caffeine will help me through this. To be honest I wouldn't care if I just passed out right now. It probably wasn't very wise to go out the night before, but it all just sort of happened as it usually does. I don't regret it though. It's just a one-night stand. Someone to share a bed with on a cold night. It's winter now, so it's appropriate enough. I have to wonder why I didn't just take her to my place like I usually do, but a change of pace isn't so bad once in a while. Besides, waking up at the other party's place just gives me a better opportunity to leave their company when I want.

"Heya bastard. What's up?"

This pulls me out of my thoughts quickly enough. I let myself get too distracted and now I look up to find that Uzumaki has made it to the front of the line. I didn't even know he was _in_ line. If I did, I probably would have called a break before it got to him and left. As it is now, I have to deal with him without getting worked up over anything he does, because we're in a public place and I know Ino would throw a tantrum if I let the image of 'cool, calm, collected Sasuke Uchiha' break up in front of the fans.

So I suck it up and stare coolly at the blonde before me. I really wish I could wipe that smug grin off his face right now.

"Hello Uzumaki," I greet pleasantly enough, falling into a tense façade of politeness. I am aware of the women and men behind him looking on wondering how this man knows me personally enough to exchange greetings.

"Did you get my post-it?" he asks, placing a book (_my_ book) on the table before me. I open the cover and sign the title page. I wonder if he's even read it yet. It looks brand new.

"Yes," I reply. He waits for elaboration on the subject and I contemplate just waving him away without an answer as I close the book back up and hand it to him. But he just stands there and I sigh. "Next week is fine. Unless Ino decides to bring up something else at the last minute, I am free then."

He nods with a grin, obviously satisfied.

"Great! I'll see you later then princess," he says, all smiles. Then he leans over the table and plants a kiss on my cheek before I really know what he's doing, before I have time to snap at him for the nickname. I jerk away and scowl at him while he just throws me a cheeky grin and leaves with his brand new book. I rub my cheek, feeling fire start to grow there and scowl some more. I can see Ino looking curious and muffling a giggle out of the corner of my eye and the surprised faces of the people still in line. I resist the urge to roll my eyes and then wave for the next one to come up, a young girl who is wide eyed and clutching the book to her chest. Her hair is short, cut so that it is long in the front and shorter in the back and her wide eyes are a very light lavender. I can see a blush staining her cheeks while she stands there looking like she isn't sure what to do now. She is prodded forward and eventually ends up in front of the table. She carefully holds out to book, looking nervous.

"I-I really—really enjoyed your book, M-Mr. Uchiha," she stutters, that blush still there. I take the book and sign it, trying my best to dispel the scowl Uzumaki seems to want me to have permanently considering I do it every time I encounter him. But now he's gone and I need to put my mask back on, charming smile and all. I finish the signature, my facial features now under control, and smile at the girl as I hand back her book.

"Thank you very much for reading my book," I say to her as I do to everyone else. She takes the book and the blush deepens before she turns and scurries away. I sigh as the next one approaches and then fall back into the routine. I hate things like this.

* * *

When Wednesday rolls around I'm already tired of Uzumaki and just want this day to end so I can shut him out forever. He still comes over every day, though I refuse to cook for him now. He accepted the refusal, but he still came to bother me for the hell of it. I don't know why I let him inside in the first place, but he probably would have gotten in somehow.

He also seems to be very good friends with Ino now. She came over one day to check up on the progress of the new manuscript while Naruto had been there, and they had some bonding time while I ignored them. It had probably been a bad idea to leave the two of them alone together, but I didn't want to put forth the effort of kicking them out. Ino only leaves when she wants to leave and Uzumaki's too dense to see that I don't want him here. He's also annoying and a thief. He bugs me with questions that I only answer to make him stop talking and steals books from my shelf to read when I refuse to talk to him. Then he just takes them with him when he leaves. At the very least he put back the first book he took. Now I just need the other book back and then after today I won't have to bother with him anymore.

I wonder how he would feel if I told him I have one-night stands almost every time I go out to drink with anyone that would care to go. He'd probably cancel the date. I wonder if I would have to go back to making him dinners or if that would repulse him enough to make him stay away from me. I'm not a good person to like. I know that well enough. I want that to get through his head and then have him leave me alone because that's how I function best. Having someone, thinking you're in love…it makes you distracted and makes you forget the reality that love is just having someone specific to fuck. Which just leads to having misunderstandings, pain and anger over nothing. You're just another person and so are they. It's not like we're made to be with one person our whole lives. There's no such thing as destiny, soul mates, or true love. It's a sham to make you believe in a fantasy. It's an escape from reality. I'm not escaping anymore. I know what I am.

I need that book back.

The doorbell rings. I frown realizing that I've been waiting for him, but get up and walk over to the door. It's almost noon and I haven't eaten anything since three in the morning. Sleep wasn't coming easily the night before, so I worked on the manuscript in the dark hours of the morning until a little while ago when I got ready for a day with my neighbor. And now he's here and I feel exhausted already. That's probably not good considering every time I see him he has so much energy.

"Hello Sasuke!" he greets, not insulting me for once. It's a little strange since I'd gotten used to it, but I shrug it off and greet him as well. He comes in and stands by the door as if unsure how to proceed. He runs a hand through his hair which is messier than on the days he goes to work and is wearing casual clothes. Something I hadn't really seen him in very often. It looks much better on him than a suit does, but that's just an opinion.

"Well, are you ready to go?" he asks, a smile on his face.

"Just let me get my wallet and keys," I reply. I disappear for a moment into my bedroom to grab the items and collect myself a bit. Just get through this day. That's all I need to do. And then I walk back out. He smiles at me again and I just keep my expression neutral as I walk past him through the door. He follows me out, I make sure the door is locked, and then we're off to who knows where. I don't bother asking because I get the feeling he either doesn't know where he's going or he doesn't want me to know. We end up taking a bus for a little and then walk the rest of the way to wherever. He doesn't start any real conversation and neither do I, other than to ask if I've eaten yet. I remind him that he told me not to eat lunch the day before and something like embarrassment shows up on his face while I roll my eyes. And then we turn into a small diner I never noticed before. Or maybe I had, but never bothered to go in. Either way I don't recognize any of it.

"I have a friend that co-owns this place so I get a discount here. I told him I would bring you next time," Uzumaki says, a nervous grin making an appearance. Before I can say anything back, though I'm not sure if I really want to (he told someone about me?), a man with silver hair and an eye-patch approaches us.

"Hello Naruto. It's been a while," the man says with an easy going smile while he appraises Uzumaki.

"Yeah, it has. Where've you been?" Uzumaki asks, turning a happy grin to the other.

"I was lost on the path of life, distracted by dreams gone by and sunsets as one of my age usually is," the man replies mysteriously. His one eye shifts to me and while the smile stays on his face, the eye turns calculating and a bit cold. I take it well, though not really caring for the appraisal of myself from someone I don't even know. "Is this the guy you were telling Iruka about?"

"Mhmm. This is Sasuke," Uzumaki says, introducing me. "Sasuke, this is Kakashi, one of the owners."

I smile politely as I've been taught my whole life and shake his hand when he offers it. The grip is strong and mine is equally so, as I look at him with bored eyes, though the smile stays in place.

"Nice to meet you Sasuke. I'm sure Iruka will be happy to see you two," he says. It is neutral and I can see he's trying to figure out what to make of me. I'm not exactly enthused to be on this date, but apparently this man knows what this is and thinks I should be. Whatever. I don't want to be here; I'm not going to act like I do. I don't make an effort where I don't need to.

The man takes us to a booth off to the side and I am given a menu. Uzumaki prattles on about something concerning that Kakashi man and how he met him through someone named Iruka. I pick and choose something, only listening with half an ear. Another man arrives at the table with brown hair tied back in a ponytail, a scar across his nose and warm brown eyes. He looks plain, but the grin he gives Uzumaki says he cares a lot for him.

"Iruka! See? I brought him, just like I said I would," the blonde says, as if the man should be proud he kept his word. And the man _does_ look proud. He ruffles Uzumaki on the head, making him seem so much younger than he obviously is. I feel almost like I shouldn't be watching. The way they act, if I hadn't been told Iruka were a friend of his, I would have thought he was Uzumaki's father. This thought makes me want to scowl and look away, but a hand has been put before me to shake. I take it and smile politely once again as Iruka introduces himself.

"Naruto's told me a little about you last time he was here. Are you really a writer?" he asks. I don't want small talk, but I decide to be polite for now, though I wonder what Uzumaki would think of me if I were an ass the entire day.

"Yes I am."

"What do you write?"

"Mystery or thriller, and articles when I'm not working on a book," I reply.

"Sounds interesting. I like historical books myself," Iruka says.

"Yeah but romance novels are the ones you like best," Uzumaki cuts in with a sly smile. Iruka flushes and hits the idiot over the head with his order booklet.

"And who's always asking to borrow the romance novels I have," he shoots back. Uzumaki pouts at the older man, embarrassed. Romance novels, huh?

"You said you wouldn't say anything!" Iruka ruffles his hair again.

"You brought it up first. Besides, I haven't told him anything else, have I?" he says with a triumphant grin. I raise an eyebrow, mildly interested if only to get information that could be useful in riling up the blonde. Uzumaki just continues to pout.

"Fine, whatever. Just take our orders already," he says, crossing his arms.

"I think I'd rather hear what else he has to say first," I say, allowing a smirk to grace my features. Iruka grins as well as Uzumaki groans, but no more secrets are revealed now.

"Sorry, I promised," Iruka says, though his smile says he would like to share. Uzumaki looks happy that his friend has decided not to tell me anything. "But you could probably ask Kakashi."

Uzumaki's face pales and then his head drops. It's amusing and my smirk grows wider. Iruka just laughs and asks for my order. I give it to him and then he asks for Uzumaki's. He just mumbles something about Iruka being mean, which makes the older man laugh again but say he'll bring out the usual before retreating to the kitchen. Uzumaki stays where he is with his head on the table and I allow him his moment. Perhaps this day won't be as horrible as I think it will be. At the very least it'll be a good way to kill some time before I dive back into work. And then I won't have to deal with Uzumaki again.

* * *

Lunch wasn't so bad. It was a diner, but the food was good enough. I paid for my own, refusing to be paid for even if it _was_ a date. We went to a movie after, where I also paid for my own ticket. I don't need Naruto paying for me. We aren't going out after all. He's just taking me places and I'm following him around for a day. Nothing will come of it. After this we aren't supposed to see each other purposely…

After the movie we went to a beach nearby. It's much too cold to think about swimming, but it was nice to look at I guess. He jumped on my back at one point while we were walking around and told me to carry him. Instead I dropped him into the sand. I thought he might get angry with that, but he just laughed and tried to do it again a little bit later. I dodged that time.

As for now, we are in Naruto's apartment. Apparently he wants to cook for me. It was already nearly eight when we arrived, and now it's almost 8:20. The food is almost done and it smells surprisingly good. If he could cook well, why did he make me cook his meals then? This thought makes me disgruntled, but only mildly because it's been a surprisingly good day.

In truth, I didn't realize so much time had passed since he picked me up for lunch. I hadn't expected the date to run this long yet seem so short. I wonder if this is how all dates are supposed to be. Certainly none of the ones I had gone on before were. Waiting for Naruto to finish cooking, I've had a little time to think about it. It was actually a rather nice day. Sort of relaxing, even though I was out doing things with someone else. And I suppose the attention was nice. He wasn't very obnoxious as I thought he would be. We bickered some times, but we've never really had a conversation where that hasn't happened and we probably never will.

I sigh and flip through another page of an annoyingly sappy romance novel that had been lying out on the couch I've taken up residence on. Why am I reading this again? Oh yeah, because Naruto decided to cook something and kicked me out of the kitchen so that I could be surprised. Great. I hate surprises.

"It's done!" Naruto calls from the kitchen. I can hear footsteps heading to where I am and then a blonde mop appears over the back of the couch. He grins. "Time to eat."

"So…you really read romance novels?" I say, holding the book up as evidence with a smirk. His cheeks flush and my smirk grows a little more when he snatches the book away from me and stomps off. I follow him into the kitchen where he discards the book off to the side on a counter. I am distracted by the table and the nice smell coming from the food set on it. It all looks very neat and well put together, and the foods are all my favorites. I suspect Ino had something to do with that from her last visit. I never told Naruto, that's for sure.

While I am distracted, Naruto has come round next to where I was about to sit and pulls the chair out for me. I level him with a light glare. "I'm not a girl."

"I know, princess," he replies and then darts away when my glare turns a little more intense. He sits down, a good-natured smile on his face, and I take a seat as well. We start eating and though the food seems a little over cooked it really is good.

"That book you gave me is really good," he says suddenly. I raise an eyebrow.

"You mean the one you stole?" I ask. He rolls his eyes.

"It's one of the ones you wrote, so it's not like you needed it," he counters. I just shrug. Maybe I don't need it back then. I hadn't bothered to check which book he took before, but if it's one of the books I wrote…

"Keep it then," I tell him and chew on another bite. He looks surprised, which is amusing in its own way, and then grins.

"Thanks. The one you signed last week was really good too. I kept forgetting to tell you when I finished it. I don't usually read much, so it's good your books are interesting," he says. I'm not sure if that's an insult or a compliment, but I scowl a little, almost jokingly.

"I would hope they are interesting. I wouldn't get paid otherwise."

"Heh, true."

There's a little gap in the conversation before he fills it again. I'm glad I don't have the need to come up with conversation to fill the silence.

"What kind of books do you read?"

I shrug. "Historical books, biographies, among other things," I tell him. He sighs.

"No wonder most of the books you had looked boring," he says. "I can't stand reading history. I fall asleep before I'm through the first paragraph."

"So you turn to romance novels?" I heckle. Though his cheeks turn a little pink at the reference, he manages to keep himself collected.

"They've got lots of interesting stuff to read about in them," he defends. "Have you ever read one?"

"No and I don't plan to," I reply, omitting the few pages I had read earlier and decided that it was most definitely not for me.

"Oh?" He looks curious. "Why not? They really are good once you get past how mushy they are some times."

I stare at him. He really wants to know. I suppose now would be as good a time as any. It should stop him from trying so hard. Even if I end up liking him, it won't go anywhere because of the way I am. I settle with a neutral expression before telling him the reason.

"I don't believe in love. There is no such thing. There is only lust for another person and trying to get more out of someone than they are willing to give unless you say some meaningless words," I tell him. It takes him a moment to digest this. For a moment I let myself hope he will accept this, but knowing he reads romance novels, he is obviously a romantic. He will try to convince me of things I know aren't true.

"There's more to it than that," he says with a frown. "It's caring for someone enough to give whatever it takes to make them happy."

I shake my head. "It's just being afraid of dying alone and tying someone to you securely to avoid that. But in the end everyone dies alone anyway."

He just stares at me. It's awkward. For him to be so loud normally and now to be so subdued. I almost want him to start yelling. Almost, but that would be such a hassle to deal with. I'm just stating my opinion. I'm not trying to convince him and I would appreciate it if he would not try to convince me to switch to his opinions. At last he speaks.

"But thinking that way…you must be really lonely if you really believe that," he says with almost a sympathetic look at me. It makes me scowl and glare. It makes my blood boil. Why would he think I need his sympathy? This is the way I've always thought. This is the way I've always been. I chose this path, lonely or not, and I don't need his sympathy for it. I stand, food half finished, and get ready to leave. He's right behind me telling me to wait, and that he's sorry if he upset me. Tch. I don't need his apologies. This wasn't going to work out anyway. I might as well leave now instead of getting his hopes up any more than I have.

"I don't need any sympathy about the way I live my life. It's how I've always lived and always _will_ live. Don't think one date will change that," I say, leaving his apartment and heading for my own. He follows me out, still telling me to wait and come back. But I don't want to go back. It's no place for me. I don't have what he is looking for, so it's best it just ends now.

"Just leave me alone from now on please," I say as politely and coldly as possible. He freezes there outside my door as I slam it on his face. I don't know if he stays for a while or leaves right away. I don't stay to check. I just head for my bedroom. I am exhausted. Tomorrow I'll go out and get a bed warmer, but for tonight, I'm too tired to go out. I sigh and sink into the bed covers.

It wouldn't have worked anyway.

* * *

**Author's Note:** um. yeah. That's it. Please let me know what you think and the next one will be up soon enough.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: **Aaaaaand, here's the next one, only a few days after as promised. I'm not sure what is doing, but I'm pretty sure their alerts aren't working right now. Which sucks. But hopefully all the people with this on alert will get this chapter as well as the last. It's so annoying when that happens, right? Jeez. Anywhos, no work has been done on the next chapter as this story has begun to annoy me. That in no way means I will stop writing this. I just need to pace myself with this. I apologize ahead of time for the long times between updates that will come. I hope to update at least once a month if I can, but I make no promises. But, thank you very much for everyone that reviewed last chapter. I didn't get a chance to reply to everyone so I wanted to let you guys know I appreciate it :D As for all the ones who have put this on favorites or alerts and like being stealthy ninjas, thank you as well for liking this well enough to want to follow it. And now, enjoy.

**Warning: **yaoi, malexmale relationships, Sasuke being a man-whore and a whiny bitch, alcohol, Ino getting pissed, no Naruto, swearing, etc.

**Disclaimer: **still down own Naruto or his friends

* * *

**Chapter 6**

_What do you do when you can't stop thinking about someone?_

There had been bright red hair. That's what I noticed first. It drew attention to the pale face and teal eyes with black eyeliner rimming them thickly. He was very attractive; I could admit that much. But we were both very arrogant, very full of ourselves. We were college kids, and had aspirations for the future. We appraised each other and thought ourselves better. We were the best in our own eyes.

So didn't the best deserve the best? Of course. That's what we thought at first. There wasn't much more than a few heated looks and the exchange of intelligent ideas in a writing workshop we attended together. It was the thought that no one else would do that brought us together. We approached each other mutually, seeking out the same thing. Sex.

_Even if they annoy the living hell out of you_

Gaara had been so much easier to deal with. Even though he left for someone else and he continued to occupy the same place in my mind as he always had, he was easier to deal with. Or not deal with. However you look at it. But at least he was gone. Out of sight, though not quite out of mind, and didn't force his way to the forefront of my thoughts without regard to whatever I might be focusing on at the moment. With just him, I could prioritize.

There is work to be done, and the deadline is approaching. It may only be an article, but it brings in money and that is what I need right now. Not a distraction in the form of a blonde idiot who probably thinks I'm pathetic simply because I don't believe in love. But I don't believe in love. Never have and never will, try as he may to convince me otherwise. And I certainly don't need his sympathy for my lifestyle.

_Even after you told yourself you weren't going to see them again_

I hate the silence that has come to irritate me in place of him. It's too quiet now when before it was too loud. But it will only be too loud again if he were to return, so I suffer through the silence, making myself get used to it as I had been before. And then every so often at night, I go out to retrieve my bed warmer and the silence is beaten back for a little while until morning comes again.

_What do you do to stop thinking about them?_

Ino will come soon. She will pull me out without knowing of my nightly escapades that have become more frequent. I ignore her calls to make it happen faster. I want her here to abate the silence for a while. Even just to have her sit there while I work, which she does often enough anyway.

I wonder when she will come and then look at my bookshelf. There's a small empty space between books on one shelf. I never got that book back, even if it was mine. Even if I told him to keep it. With a growl I push that thought away and turn back to my computer. There is work to be done.

_What should I do?

* * *

_

"Get up."

The covers are yanked from my body, allowing the cold air to suck away the body heat. A sneaker pushes my hip a little more harshly than is appreciated, but I let it go. I want sleep. For once I just don't want to get up and face the world. I drank too much last night. I remember most of it. I remember a blonde man a few years older than me that followed me home. I wonder if he's still here. The foot prods me again, rougher this time.

"Get up."

I push myself up, irritated with whoever the perpetrator is, and glare blearily at them. I see a blur of long pale blonde hair before my vision clears to reveal Ino standing above me with a disappointed frown on her face. Her eyes don't stray from my unfocused ones even though I'm stark naked before her. We've spent enough time together and she has seen me like this a few times before. Although she may have flirted before, she's serious when it comes to business, and since I am her business, there is no romancing that will be happening any time soon whether I want it or not. Besides, she knows well enough that I don't want it. I don't need any complications in my work life.

"God, do you get this drunk every night now? What the hell happened to you?" she says angrily as she takes in my mussed appearance. It's obvious she knows what happened the night before and has no respect for it. I roll my eyes and lay back down because this is how I am. And blanket or no, I want more rest. So I turn away from my editor and see an empty bed. The guy from last night left, which is all just as well. At least she didn't find him in here with me, though I don't think she would have cared. Probably would have kicked him out without a care after reprimanding me like I know she's going to do in a moment. I don't really want to hear it because I want to rest, but the silence is gone and that's enough to help me relax. Almost. Any thankful feelings for Ino's appearance are pushed away when she grabs my side and hauls me over so she can glare in my face again.

"I don't want to deal with you acting like a spoiled brat today, Sasuke. Get up," she hisses as she lets go and puts her hands on her hips. Just to spite her I roll back over and close my eyes again. I don't try to sleep anymore because I know I won't be allowed, but I just want to rest here for a few more moments in the safety of my bed. Sure enough I hear a frustrated sigh come from my editor and I can imagine her pinching the bridge of her nose. Silence. And then—

"So how is Naruto doing?" she asks nonchalantly. I frown at the mention of Uzumaki. Somehow during the course of the date I had begun to think of him with his first name. Too intimate. Too close. Now it's back to Uzumaki, as it should be, or even simply nothing at all. Because I never see him anymore, as it was agreed upon when I agreed to go on a date with him. I didn't like him before and the date brought us no closer. I don't like him. I don't. And now he has to leave me alone so I can focus on work, only it's getting steadily harder to do that with all this silence. With a frustrated sigh, I sit up.

"How should I know?" I say, getting up off the bed and gathering clothes before heading to the bathroom to wash off everything from the night before. Ino follows after not caring for modesty or privacy. I make no effort to shut her out.

"Weren't you guys—I mean, didn't you…go on a date or something?" she asks, confusion creeping into her voice. I turn the shower on and step into the stream before it has a chance to warm up. I shiver at the icy water when it hits my skin, but it heats up soon enough.

"Does it matter?" I reply, indifferent as I can make myself. She shouldn't assume these kinds of things about my personal life. I never liked him anyway.

"Yes! Well—I don't know! I thought you were actually making an effort with someone instead of what you've been doing this past half a year, just pushing everyone away, getting drunk, and sleeping with anyone you meet like some kind of a man-whore." She sounds angry. I roll my eyes and wash my hair.

"My personal life is my business Ino, not yours. I don't care if you worry about it at night, but don't complain about it to me. I make my own choices." I am calm. I am cleansing myself and not letting what Ino says bother me in the slightest. My life is fine the way it is.

"You're so damn apathetic, you _need_ someone to tell you when they're worried about you. I don't know how you live like this, but," she pauses, "you need a friend Sasuke and you won't let anyone be one to you. You just cut us all out. Have you even talked to Naruto lately?"

I shut off the showerhead, clean and ready for a day of research and writing. I regret wanting Ino here if all she's going to talk about is Uzumaki and needless concern for myself.

"No," I say, grabbing a towel. Ino is leaning against the sink; arms crossed and frown in place at my answer.

"What happened? I thought you tolerated him at least if you weren't friends. He certainly liked you well enough," she asks. I frown, not looking at her as I pull on my clothes, not answering. After a short silence, she makes a small noise of irritation. "Well?"

Scowling, I look up at her, fully dressed now and no longer quite as vulnerable. "Uzumaki is just a person who happens to live next to me and has never been anything more. He's irritating, obnoxious, he's loud, and he has no sense of personal space. I didn't like him when he moved in and that hasn't changed. The only thing that has changed is the fact that I've finally gotten rid of that nuisance," I tell her flatly. She looks disappointed and frustrated, and though I see no reason why she should have that expression, it's also sort of expected if the way this conversation is going is any indication.

Deciding I'm done with this, I walk out of the bathroom past Ino and head for the kitchen. My stomach hurts. I'm hungry. I should eat.

Ino follows but doesn't say anything. Instead she makes her way to the door, gathering her things and putting on her coat. There's a pause in her movement and I can feel eyes on me even as I begin to prepare my breakfast and refuse to turn around and meet her gaze. She doesn't say anything for a moment, just stares at me. Then I hear a sigh.

"Get that article done. I know you always make your deadlines, but I just wanted to remind you. Don't let your…drinking and life of debauchery get in the way of that, ok? I'll come check on you in a few days."

A few more seconds of staring, footsteps, and then the sound of the door opening and closing. Eggs sizzle on the pan in front of me, to which I devote all of my attention. The silence is back with the slam of a door and I'm left alone with my thoughts again.

* * *

Ino is angry with me. Or at least that's the impression I get from her whenever I see her now. The article got done on time and all she had to say was a professional "Thank you for the hard work" before she left to hand it off to the magazine I wrote it for. Not a word about Uzumaki or my "life of debauchery" as she had tended to do in the past. She will come over from time to time now, much more often than before, just to sit around and read or work without actually saying anything to me other than a polite hello. I understand that she is watching me to see how bad my drinking is. I don't think it's much of a problem. After all, I don't do it unless I'm out at a bar. When I'm at home, I mostly throw myself into my work anyway, so the silence we have is companionable at least, if not persistent. But it's still a better silence than the one when she isn't around.

I see her go to Uzumaki's some times. I'm not quite sure what to think about it, but if they get along, it's none of my business. As long as they don't bother me, I have no reason to be bothered about their camaraderie. It has nothing to do with me.

"Another."

As requested another shot is placed before me and I throw it back. The bar tender looks ready to kick me out. I already have seven empty glasses lined up and I haven't paced myself at all. I feel warm and light, already on my way to a memory-less night, but I'm not looking for a bed warmer. I just needed to get out. I needed a break from the silence, but I don't want anyone right now. I don't need interaction, just the warm feeling alcohol can give every once in a while and some background noise. I don't need to be drunk tonight. All I want to do really is sit and listen for a while.

This time I order a beer. I need something to sip at.

"Hello again. Fancy meeting you here." A woman sits down next to me, orders a drink and then turns a sly smile at me. Her hair is brown and done up in buns. I vaguely recognize her as the same woman I slept with before my…date with Uzumaki. I never caught her name and I never told her mine. She winks at me, and sips at a fruity drink. I nod in return, not in the mood for much conversation.

"And how have you been, tall dark and handsome?" she asks, obviously flirting, but there's something about the way she says it that makes it seem like she's only joking around, like we're two old friends meeting up again even though this is only the second time we've met.

"Fine," I reply and take another sip.

"Still not settling down with anyone?" she asks. I examine the bottles of alcohol on the wall of the bar.

"No point." She hums and examines me for a moment.

"I was going to ask if you want to have a little rendezvous like last time since I'm here for the weekend again, but you don't seem in the mood," she tells me, bored and a little disappointed, but there's still a smile on her face.

I shrug and say, "Not really."

"Ah well. I wasn't expecting much tonight either, but I thought I might try when I saw you," she says. She seems nonchalant and unbothered that she's been turned down. We sip at our drinks silently. I begin to think I should leave soon.

"I'm Ten-Ten, by the way," she says, breaking the silence between us. When I don't answer, she continues talking without skipping a beat. "I travel between here and home for work every once in a while. It's a hassle, but I get to meet new people at least."

She finishes her drink and writes down a number.

"I come to this bar a lot when I travel to this part and I'm up for a good time whenever, so feel free to hit me up if you see me here. I'll be here all week before I have to go back," she says with another wink. She stands, hands me the napkin with a number, and then pats my shoulder. "You seem very distracted right now. Don't let whatever it is you're thinking about get you too down, okay? There's always something good on the way."

She squeezes my shoulder and then walks away into the crowd, not even bothering to ask my name. I wonder if she wanted to know, but I'm not sure if I would have given it to her. She had probably guessed that when I hadn't offered it before. I'm glad she hadn't hung herself all over me or made a fuss when I didn't want to go home with her again. It was nice to know that she didn't have any expectations of me.

In any case, I'm done with my drink, and now that she's gone, it's probably time for me to go home. I've probably drunk too much again, but I'm well enough to get myself home with much incident. I trip once outside of the bar trying to put on my coat. I get one arm in and can't find the hole for the other one, so I circle around trying to look back at it until I fall over myself onto the cold concrete and the snow that's begun to fall. It hasn't snowed hard once since winter began, and even now that it's December it doesn't look like this snowfall will turn out much differently than the rest.

The concrete is hard, unforgiving and freezing against my palms. The little snow that is sticking to the ground melts a little underneath me. I push myself up onto unsteady legs and trust them to get me home safely enough. I've walked the path through this city to home enough times that I could probably still do it when I'm blind drunk. I've never had enough to see (almost enough but not quite) and I don't exactly have any intentions of trying any time soon.

When I get to the complex, I walk slowly up the stairs to the second floor where my room is waiting, cold and empty and utterly silent. I don't want to be here, but it's the only place I can go. I don't want to depend on others. I can stand on my own, as I have been all these years, and I can face the silence in there with my head held high.

At the door I reach into my pocket and pull out…nothing. My keys. They were supposed to be in my pocket. At least, that's where I put them. Sluggish from the alcohol, I pull up the side of my coat and look in the pocket, which is just as empty as it felt. No sign of keys. With a sigh, I decide that maybe I forgot that I put them in another pocket. So I search around my body for any place I could have put them. I come up with nothing but an old receipt, a dime, the number Ten Ten gave me, and some lint. I lean my head against the freezing doorframe with a 'thunk' while the wind blows a little bit of powdery snow across the open hall. I try the doorknob uselessly, hoping that maybe I've left it unlocked. It just rattles and stays put, not turning enough to let me in.

So I'm stuck outside in the cold. At the very least, the alcohol has left my body feeling a little warmer than usual, though I know it won't last all night. I could probably call Ino and stay with her, but of course I left my cell phone inside as well. I hadn't thought much about it when I realized it wasn't with me. I figured I wouldn't need it. No one would want to be woken up at two in the morning just to let me use their phone either, not that I'm friendly enough with anyone here anyway.

The wind howls a little through the hallway and I shiver as it goes through my jacket. I shift my eyes to the right and look down the hallway to where Uzumaki's door is. I'm definitely not going to ask him, even though I wouldn't mind waking him up in the middle of the night just to annoy him. I shake my head and stare back down at the floor in front of my apartment door.

I could probably walk to Ino's, even if it's across the city. Or at least to the bar where Sakura works. She would give me a ride because they're friends and I know Ino makes her keep an eye on me when I'm at her bar. But I remember passing through Sakura's bar and not seeing her bubblegum pink hair. So I settle on trying to walk all the way there. But I don't quite trust myself to make it there just yet. I need to let myself sober up a little more before I go. So I sit down and lean back against my door, pulling my jacket closer to ward off the icy winds that come every now and again.

Slowly I look to my left toward Uzumaki's door once again and frown. No. I told him I didn't want him, that I didn't like him, and that I didn't want him near me. It would be stupid if I went over and asked for help after all that. I can brave out the cold until I sober up enough to make it to Ino's. I don't need him. I don't—

My body deems this idea stupid and has its own plans. I find myself in front of Uzumaki's door, hand poised to knock sometime in the middle of my rant on how I don't need to knock on his door and ask to stay the night. Damn this alcohol.

I'm not going to do this. I've decided to go to Ino, who won't ask questions and will take me in even though I know she's mad at me. I've locked myself out and I just need a place to stay.

So then wouldn't Uzumaki's be better?

A little voice in the back of my head questions me. It's closer than halfway across the city. Just a few steps.

I just need a place to stay…

You're already at his door and you know that he won't mind so much if it's you, the voice whispers, seducing and soothing.

It's just one night…

Just one and then never again…

My fist connects with the wood loudly and I begin hoping Uzumaki doesn't hear it.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Aaaaaand, it's done. Next one might take a while, but I promise to start work on it soon. College takes up a lot of time ya know, but it's all good. Let me know what you think, feel free to yell at me for taking so god damn long, and thank you for reading. :D


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: IMPORTANT! **Ok so here's the next chapter. Unfortunately I must inform you all that I am going on hiatus for now. I need some time to get my stuff together at the moment. Animation is not an easy major, but I like it, so I want to do well. I'll still work on this in the mean time and when I get enough chapters done I'll start up again. Just letting you all know that it may be a while until this gets continued. Thank you very much everyone who has reviewed and all you ninjas who have just favorited or alerted this. I really appreciate it! Now please enjoy this next chapter.

**Disclaimer: **still don't own Naruto or any characters within.

**Warnings:** yaoi, boy love, swearing, colds, alcohol, hangovers, nosy blonde women, angst, Sasuke finally starting to stop being such a bitch (he annoys me sometimes when I'm writing this), advancement of the plot, and other things I can't remember and probably don't need to warn you against.

* * *

**Chapter 7**

_It's warm here._

I was covered in blankets in a soft bed. I was tired and could feel the heat in my cheeks from the alcohol. It's so nice compared to the cold winter winds outside. How long have I been here?

_I feel relaxed._

The babble of the television rolls in softly through the walls. It's soothing to listen to mindlessly like this. It abates the silence, the one that has been so persistent and the one that I've hated so much for its persistence and loudness. It's been much too quiet lately. I'm glad of the noise, though I haven't a clue why the television would be on now. It's like a lullaby, lulling me back to sleep.

_The silence isn't pressing down._

I hear quiet footsteps from down the hall come closer and enter the room. They're barely heard, but they are there. A dull thud comes from next to me and sounds like a glass being put down on the nightstand. I'm too tired to deal with this. Who is it this time? Just go away, I'll chase you away later anyway. No need to be nice to me when we won't ever meet again.

The bed sinks and suddenly there's heat beside me, near my stomach. Unconsciously, I move to it, curling around it and feeling the body of another human being next to me. It's comforting and I take back wanting to chase whoever this is away. Let me be selfish just this once. Just stay for a while whoever you are. Don't leave me alone.

After a few moments, a hand begins to run through my hair and makes me relax under its touch. It's rhythmic and wonderful, and I sigh contently while I begin to doze off again.

It's so warm, so nice…I pray that this dream lasts. Don't leave me alone again…

_How long has it been since I've felt like this?_

_

* * *

_

I wake up to voices far away and in a room that isn't mine. I don't remember going home with anyone the night before…

In fact, I remember turning people down and heading home with a fairly clear head. But then it got cold, so cold; such a difference from this warmth. God how does this person have such a warm bed? But no, I have to leave now. Never overstay your welcome. I'm not in my apartment, therefore whoever lives here will want me gone soon. Either that or they'll want to start something. I won't. I can't. I need to get out before this warmth traps me. Before this person starts to ask for more than I'm willing to give. I've sat up in bed before I freeze at the sound of footsteps. I quickly shake my head and stand up, composing myself, ready to grab my clothes, get dressed and go only to find that I'm already dressed. It's in a large white t-shirt and black sweat pants that fit just right, but I know they aren't mine. I don't see my clothes anywhere in the room, which is slightly messy now that I look at it. I wonder where they could have gone when the door opens.

I look up and meet with the face of someone I had meant to stay away from. Why the hell am I at Uzumaki's?

Shit!

Did I sleep with him? Will he take this the wrong way and come after me again? It was hard enough to get rid of him the first time. And now I've shown him that I'm a slut in addition to not believing in love. Oh what must he think of me now? Well at the very least it should be reason for him to leave me alone.

He stares at me a moment while my mind goes through all of these thoughts and then smiles a little sheepishly.

"Uh, hey," he says, as if he couldn't come up with anything much better. Then he sticks his head out the door again. "He's awake!"

I'm confused, because who could he be talking to that concerns me? And then I hear her voice.

"God damn it Sasuke, what the hell? Why are you over here instead of your own room? Aren't you usually done with your debauchery by now?" Ino asks as she walks into the room, pissed and ready to chew me out. I roll my eyes, acting unaffected by her accusations, though I don't know whether Uzumaki and I have actually done anything considering I didn't wake up naked. I see Uzumaki's face blow up red and he waves his hands erratically in front of him. For a moment I'm concerned he'll hit Ino who is right next to him now.

"W-we didn't do anything!" he almost yells. I wince at the volume, and then he lowers his voice when he notices my pain. Goddamn hangovers. It shouldn't be this bad. "He slept here cause he locked himself out last night."

Ino looks surprised and then relieved. "Well that's good. I was hoping he hadn't gotten you too, especially with everything considered," she says, laughing a little at the way Uzumaki blushes again with a frown and turns away, refusing to look at either of us. And then Ino turns her sights on me and her eyes harden.

"Come on. Work. Now. I don't care if you have a hangover or not," she says sternly and turns to leave the room.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," I say and look around, not quite sure what to do. Uzumaki looks at me again, blush gone from his cheeks. His mouth opens to say something, but he stops himself and says something else instead, averting his eyes to the floor.

"Your shoes are by the door. You threw up on your clothes last night, so I'm washing them right now. Feel free to keep those," he says, looking up and gesturing to me with a little shrug of his shoulders. I blink.

"Come on Sasuke!" Ino calls from further into the apartment. I sigh and make my way out of the room, pausing at the door. I throw a careless thanks over my shoulder at Uzumaki before leaving quickly with Ino, using her extra key to get into my apartment. He says nothing and doesn't follow us out. A feeling in my stomach niggles at me, trying to get my attention with the thought of Uzumaki's face as I said a simple thank you and left, but I ignore it.

I don't feel anything for that idiot. I don't feel bad for using him. I needed a place to stay, and he was there. That's all there is to it.

Once I'm back in my apartment and Ino makes sure I'll get another copy of the key for her, she leaves with a solid hit to my head and parting words of, "You're an idiot."

* * *

Ino doesn't come back for a few days, but when she does it's with the clothes Uzumaki had been cleaning for me. I almost forgot about them.

I've been trying to forget about that night when I stumbled into his place. It's kind of hard to do considering I have a pile of his clothes to remind me. They sit by the door waiting to be taken over. I wanted to give them to Ino the next and have her take them to him, but when she didn't show up I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. So I decided to wait and see if she would come the next day, and when she didn't, I decided I would take them over myself. And then I threw myself into my work and forgot that the pile was even there.

When the doorbell finally rings, I go to greet Ino and catch sight of the clothes. I grimace because they should have been returned days ago, right after I finished washing them. When Ino hands me the clothes I had left, I remember that he had some of mine as well and hadn't come to bring them to me either. I suppose he's being honorable to our deal even if I broke it by going to him…

"You should return those," she says, a slight frown still on her lips. She's never happy with me these days, but that's never bothered me much before. Now it's mostly her words. I frown right back.

"I was hoping to ask you to do it. I have a lot to do," I reply, heading to my room to put away the clothes she has brought. They smell good.

I can hear her rolling her eyes when she says, "Yes. Because writers have _so_ much work and absolutely _no_ time on their hands."

I pause long enough to glare and then continue on my way.

"Honestly you're just being a big baby about the whole thing. He is too cause he made me bring your stuff, but apparently there's some deal I didn't know about that you guys made. I mean what the hell? He just wants to be friends!"

"He asked me on a date," I remind her. She is standing in my doorway while I put the clothes away.

"And you agreed to it," she counters.

"To make him leave me alone. He should be satisfied that he got what he wanted."

She narrows her eyes at me. "Don't be so high and mighty like he should be bowing at your feet just to get your attention. You're not as amazing as you think you are."

"Hn." I walk past her and out of the room. I need food. And then I need to work. She can stay if she wants but that doesn't mean I want her here. I don't need her nagging and lectures.

"Well I'm not bringing those clothes to him. You're just gonna have to suck it up and actually interact with him if you want to return his stuff," she tells me, following me back and settles herself on the couch. "Unless of course you're going to be a complete asshole and never return it. Then I'll just drag him over here to get it from you, and I'll lock you guys in until you work out your intimacy issues and explain to him exactly why you're so afraid of having a real relationship."

I want to protest about having intimacy issues because I don't, but it'll only have the opposite effect if I actually try. So I settle for a short glare before continuing in getting together a small lunch for myself. She watches me all the while and when I look back at her she has an expectant expression on.

"So? What's it gonna be?" she asks. I look down at the sandwich then at the pile of clothes by the door that should have been returned days ago, and then back again. I'm not scared to talk with the idiot, damn it!

I growl and almost throw my plate of untouched food onto the counter. I ignore the triumphant look on Ino's face while I grab the clothes and storm out the door. I don't bother with a coat, though I do have slippers on bare feet at least to protect myself from the cold.

And then I'm in front of his door. I don't knock, just stare for a moment. I don't want to do this. I need to do this. It should have been done a long time ago. I want to hold out a few more days. Damn it, Ino should have just agreed to take the damn things back for me. She is more a friend to that idiot than I am anyway!

I sigh long and loud. I'm doing this.

I knock on the door solid and loud.

There's no answer for a few minutes and I don't hear anything from inside either. Frowning I knock again, louder this time. Still nothing. I growl and grumble and scowl. I hate Ino. Forcing me into this when Uzumaki's not even home…

And then the door swings open suddenly as I'm about to turn and leave. He's disheveled and looks a bit disoriented. He looks like he's just woken up. And then his eyes go wide as he realizes I'm there. My scowl is still in place, but I'm working on making it go away. He hasn't done anything to really deserve it yet anyway. So he gets over his shock by the time I've schooled my expression back into a neutral look of boredom. He coughs awkwardly.

"Hey," he says, voice more gravely than normal and I begin to think that the cough wasn't so much for awkwardness rather than for sickness. I nod back.

"Wanted to give these back," I say curtly, holding out the clothes. "I meant to return them earlier but I've been caught up in work."

His eyebrows are raised but soon enough he grins. "No problem," he says, interrupted with a small cough. "I know what it's like to get caught up in stuff and forget about other things. Happens all the time."

He takes the clothes and then starts coughing again. I frown and wonder if I should say anything. And then I do because really, now that I've seen he's sick, he looks too pathetic.

"You okay?" I ask, keeping my voice neutral enough to show concern but not a deep interest in the matter. He looks at me surprised when the coughing stops but answers anyway.

"Uh yeah, I guess. Just caught a cold. You should probably go so you don't catch it and all," he says with a smile and a shrug. His eyes say he's not sure what he should think of the question. It's a reasonable enough reaction. Normally I would have been gone by now, cold or not. I don't concern myself with people because I don't want them to concern themselves with me.

And then I remember Ino and her taunts of intimacy issues and pushing others away, of being afraid of having real relationships. So I decide to take it as a challenge, and even if I'm not sure I want to try this with Uzumaki of all people (he's simply the most convenient), I take a first step.

"I can make you some dinner tonight," I say.

Again he looks at me surprised and then with a wondering look. "Why?"

I shrug and look away. "To make up for barging in on you when I was drunk."

He looks at me for a moment like he doesn't quite believe it or even knows if he should, and then he accepts the reason with a nod and a grin. He sniffs a little.

"Alright, that sounds nice," he says happily enough. "But you should probably wait 'til I get better to do that. I don't wanna get you sick."

I wave his dismissal off. "I'll be fine. I have a good immune system. Besides, I'll make you some soup."

His eyes light up. "Oh! Can it be ramen?" he asks excitedly. He even clasps his hands together in front of his chest when he makes the request.

"No."

It looks almost like he deflates a little as he lets out a little whine, but he perks back up almost as quickly.

"Alright. Well thank you for bringing my things back. I'm gonna go back to sleep now. Just come on over whenever you're ready for dinner," he says. I nod and say goodbye before he closes the door and I make my way back to my own apartment. Ino is still on the couch, now watching the television when I return.

"How'd it go?" she asks annoyingly, almost like she wants to gloat about goading me into talking to Uzumaki again. I just make my way back to my computer and settle down to work.

"None of your business," I reply, turning on the machine. I hear her shifting around.

"Well you were out there for a while. I think I deserve to know what you guys talked about. At least a little of it!" she pesters. I glance at her. There's an eager look on her face, like she can already tell things have gone her way and she simply wants confirmation. I look away again and contemplate lying to her just to see the reaction. But that would probably end in lectures and annoying speeches on my utter selfishness and self-centered attitude. So truth it is.

"He was sick so I said I would make him soup," I tell her. She pauses and I can nearly hear the squeals.

"Oh Sasuke I'm so proud of you! Actually taking my advice and trying to make a meaningful relationship! Now to put your life of drinking and debauchery behind!" she exclaims. I tune her out as she continues on about something or other. Truth is nearly as bad as lying would have been. But it's a little better I suppose.

Now to get some work done before I make dinner for the sick idiot. I try not to think about just what I've gotten myself into either.

* * *

Ino ends up staying the rest of the day. When she leaves, she reminds me of my promise to Uzumaki and says that I shouldn't work so hard. I'm pretty sure she'll be back tomorrow to hear how it all went and wish she didn't take such an interest in my personal life. She's just my editor, but I suppose she'll hear it from Uzumaki even if I don't say anything.

In any case, I finish my paragraph as Ino leaves and shut down my computer. I gather the ingredients for the soup and set to it. Homemade soup is always better than store bought, or so I've learned. It reminds me of home, but that's not something I want to think of. At least, not now. It's a thought for when I don't have company. When it's done, I grab my keys, make myself presentable, and head over with the food. Uzumaki answers the door with a grin and a cheerful hello, though the cough ruins it. I put the pot of soup on his stove and heat it while he grabs two bowls.

"You can have whatever you want to drink. Just take a look in the fridge," he tells me. I nod and ladle out the soup.

"Sit down. I'll get you what you want," I say. He protests but I just move around him to the refrigerator, turning a deaf ear I've learned to use around him and look for drinks. I can smell the sour milk and frown. Sick as he is, he probably can't smell it. So I grab it and pour it in the sink. When he lets out an annoyed "Hey!" I roll my eyes and say, "It went bad. You're already sick, so you don't need bad milk to make it worse."

"I'm sure it had a few more days," he mumbles with a frown but doesn't say anything else. To look and after he tells me what he wants as well I return to the table. He hasn't taken a bite yet and I raise an eyebrow.

"Thanks for the food!" he says with a grin before digging in and slurping away noisily at the noodles. I'm fairly sure he's enjoying the soup, if the way he's eating is any indication. I let a small smile of satisfaction appear for a second before starting in on my own bowl.

Now I've made up for my night of drunkenness. I think of Ino and the challenge I've decided to take on from her lectures. I wonder if I really want to do this (and I already know that I don't), but then I suppose that it's part of the challenge. I can handle a friendship with the idiot even if I don't want one, though I'm unsure of anything further than that.

A loud sneeze takes me out of my thoughts and puts me back in Uzumaki's kitchen. He smiles sheepishly and then gets up to blow his nose.

"Sorry. I feel kinda bad letting you make me dinner when I'm sick," he says. Immediately my mind is shouting about why he made me pay him with meals before then if he feels so bad about it, but then I remember our deal. It's still intact and though I've invited myself over, he's still following with it. Not a block I had anticipated, but something I'm sure won't be hard to deal with. If I want to that is. This is a chance to turn back and forget about him again. But I've started this. I've taken this step. I might as well follow through.

"It's fine. You're sick so I'm sure you probably would have just made something simple like ramen anyway. This is better for you," I tell him.

"Yeah, but still…" he says, trailing off. He covers it up by slurping another spoonful of noodles. I sigh and decide to deal with the roadblock head on, despite the discomfort I know it will cause me.

"If you feel bad now, why did you ask me to make you dinner as payment before?" I ask. He looks up at me quickly before shoving more noodles into his mouth, muffling what he tries to say as he looks off to the side. I wait patiently for him to finish and repeat. When he doesn't I ask again and he sort of pouts and glares at me.

"Well how else was I supposed to get to know you? I rarely saw you even though we're neighbors and then suddenly you called me to fix your computer," he says quickly and shrugs. "I was pretty sure you wouldn't come over even if I asked so it seemed like a good idea at the time."

Well I suppose that's a good enough reason. It's true I probably would have just ignored him if he hadn't made that deal. I'd been trying to do that up until now anyway. So I decide to delve a little further if he's answering truthfully to see exactly how far this will go.

"Then what about the date?"

He coughs a little and I can see a stubborn blush rising even just faintly. He stares down at his soup when he answers, "Well isn't that kind of obvious?"

"Yes," I reply because I realize that's one of the reasons I've been pushing him away. I also realize I probably don't really have much that's likable about me. "But why?"

He stirs his soup a little and the blush goes away. It's a serious, thoughtful expression I imagine isn't shown very often considering his personality. Then slowly his eyes lift to meet mine.

"You seemed lonely," he says. It's a statement I would have taken to mean that he pities me, but there's sincerity in his voice that makes me rethink. He drops his eyes again and returns to stirring the soup. "That's what it was at first. But there were other things I picked up when you were making dinners for me and it just sort of drew me in. So I asked you on a date hoping I could learn more."

He shrugs as he finishes and picks up the bowl to finish off his food with a loud gulp. There's a sigh of contentment and then he grins at me. "That was really good. Thanks a lot for the food."

He gets up and starts to clean up and I don't tell him to let me do it this time. He's nearly done putting things away by the time I finally say it, before I throw my caution to the wind and try to change myself.

"Change my mind," I say, finally standing and taking the last few dishes from his hands to wash myself.

"Huh?" is the intelligent response. I can see the confusion there so I suck it up and elaborate.

"I said one date wouldn't change the way I live, I never said more couldn't," I tell him. His eyes are wide with surprise, and though I don't quite believe the words myself, I'm going to try my best. "So I'm telling you to change my mind. Make me want to be with you. You can't be much of a romantic if you don't want to fight to be with the one you like."

He gapes like a fish and I'm tempted to tell him he's going to catch flies if he leaves his mouth open any longer. "But what about—?"

"Like I said. Fight," I repeat and then move around him to put the rest of the soup away for him. There's silence from him for a minute before he finally speaks and I can nearly hear the grin in it.

"Sasuke Uchiha, prepare to be wooed like no man has ever been wooed before," he says. And as he joins me in my hunt for something to store the soup in, I wonder if this is really a good idea. I glance at him and see that even though he's sick, he's back to being just as energetic as usual. So I think I'll just wait and see where this goes.

* * *

**Author's Note: **And that's it for now. I will leave you all with a sort of cliffhanger-ish thing, but when I come back there shall be more updates more quickly. Thank you again for reading and I'll appreciate any thoughts on this chapter too :D


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